Categories
war

Items Israel Prohibits from Gaza

I was interested to see what sort of things Israel prohibits from entering Gaza.

Sage, cardamom, cumin, coriander, ginger and nutmeg are forbidden, as is  fresh meat, although za’atar spice, black pepper and sesame are permitted.  Frozen meat is also allowed, along with flour, sugar, rice,  pasta and kidney beans.

This security measure,  presumably, is designed to prevent the pesky Palestinians from rustling up this tasty meal.  I didn’t realise how much of a threat curry recipes posed to the Israeli authorities.

If you live in Gaza, not only are you prevented from enjoying a  terrorist beef curry, but after your permitted dinner of frozen meat, pasta, rice, semolina and lentils you can’t have biscuits, sweets or chocolate, for these too are forbidden.

Why? I suppose it’s because chocolate, sweets, biscuits and crisps are highly explosive and can be mixed together to make rocket propellant.  For many years, NASA has used chocolate and biscuits to power the space shuttle, and Hamas know this perfectly well.

The also know how to make a fruit-preserve bomb, using seeds, nuts, dried fruit and jam.  When combined with flavour- and smell-enhancers, this is a deadly explosive mixture, known to terrorists everywhere, which is why Israel has banned these foods from Gaza.  The deadly chemical, vinegar, is used as a detonator.

Of course, terrorists can’t build rockets and bombs without houses, and this is why Israel has wisely pursued a two-pronged approach, flattening Gaza in Operation Cast Lead, and preventing the import of plaster,  tar,  timber,  cement,  iron and tarpaulin sheets for huts.  You can’t have a million potential terrorists putting roofs over their heads.

Who knows what sort of jam rockets they might build out of sight of the satellites?

Apart from that, there a a few other well-known terrorist things that Israel has banned from Gaza.

Things like fabric for clothing,  fishing rods, fishing nets, tractor parts and irrigation systems.  Things like razors, sewing machines, horses, donkeys, goats and cattle. Things like paper writing, newspapers, pens and pencils, notebooks and toys.

And musical instruments.  You never know what those Palestinians might do if they got their hands on a guitar.  Can’t be too careful when dealing with terrorists, but of course, the real worry is that they might somehow manage to acquire Soviet-built attack accordions.

Imagine what would happen if all these items were allowed into Gaza.  It’s perfectly possible that Palestinian terrorists would form a cavalry regiment and charge the Israeli forces on their horses, donkeys, goats and cattle with razors and pencils tied to the end of their fishing rods while playing banjos and firing chocolate-powered biscuit-bombs.

When you look at it this way, you can see the logic of the prohibitions.  Can’t you?

Permittedflour

sugar

sweetener

rice

salt

cooking oil

semolina

yeast

pasta

chickpeas

beans

kidney beans

lentils

peas

Burgul wheat

corn

lupini beans

powdered milk

dairy products

margarine

hummus paste

frozen meat, fish, and vegetables

vitamins and oil for animal feed

empty bags for flour

medicine and medical equipment

diapers

feminine hygiene products

toilet paper

baby wipes

shampoo & conditioner

soap

toothpaste

laundry detergent

fabric softener

glass cleaner

floor cleaning fluid

cleaning liquid for bathroom

chlorine

insecticide for household use

farms coffee

tea

salami meat

canned meat

canned fish

sponges for cleaning dishes

toys for washing

mopping rags

cleaning rags

canned food except canned fruit

za’atar spice

black pepper

sesame

powdered chicken stock

blankets

chicks

matches

candles

brooms

mops

dustpans

trash cans

aniseed

chamomile

cinnamon

wastewater purification powder

glass – 200 trucks

water coolers + heaters

mineral water

Tahini (sesame paste)

hair brushes

hair combs

shoes

clothes

wood (for doors and window frames)

aluminum

soft plastic bags

fruit

vegetables

hay

fertilized eggs

pesticides for agriculture

soil for agriculture

particles for soil dilution

chemical fertilizer

plastic buckets

plastic crates for fruits and vegetables

plastic chicken cages

egg cartons

cartons for transporting chicks

fiberglass and plastic trays for planting

various kinds of agricultural seeds

eggs (for eating)

greenhouse nylon

various kinds of veterinary medications and products

wheat

barley

animal feed

Prohibitedsage

cardamom

cumin

coriander

ginger

jam

halva

vinegar

nutmeg

chocolate

fruit preserves

seeds and nuts

biscuits and sweets

potato chips

gas for soft drinks

dried fruit

fresh meat

plaster

tar

wood for construction

cement

iron

glucose

industrial salt

plastic/glass/metal containers

industrial margarine

tarpaulin sheets for huts

fabric (for clothing)

flavor and smell enhancers

fishing rods

various fishing nets

buoys

ropes for fishing

nylon nets for greenhouses

hatcheries and spare parts for hatcheries

spare parts for tractors

dairies for cowsheds

irrigation pipe systems

ropes to tie greenhouses

planters for saplings

heaters for chicken farms

musical instruments

size A4 paper

writing implements

notebooks

newspapers

toys

razors

sewing machines and spare parts

heaters

horses

donkeys

goats

cattle

 

Categories
News

Elite Israeli Love-Commandos

What kind of commandos are they raising in Israel these days?

I remember a time when one Israeli soldier could beat a truckload of Foreign Legionnaires with both his legs cut off, using only his little finger, but these days, when they rapelle from a helicopter onto a ship, the first overweight hippie they meet is able to take their gun away from them.

Either Israeli commandos are getting soft or hippies are getting tougher.

I’d say the problem lies with all this new politically correct thinking they have to do because the Americans are paying the bills.  As an Israeli  commenter on another thread informed us, the love-commandos boarded the ship armed only with paint-ball guns because they didn’t want to hurt anyone.

Special forces of love.

Luckily, the PC classes haven’t made the IDF completely stupid and so, even though they were being beaten up by a crowd of stoned, vegan hippies, the Israeli commandos had the answer: they machine-gunned everyone, but in a very measured, caring way.  According to Israeli soldiers who were present, they all cried a little after the firing died down, because they were the real victims.

As their life coach told them: every time you shoot a peace activist, you shoot yourself.

It probably wouldn’t have happened at all if the hippies could organise themselves properly, but you know what hippies are like.  Stoned, drunk and dirty.  Deputy Foreign Minister Danny Ayalon pointed out that the flotilla was an armada of hate, and of course we all know hate comes in many forms.  It can come from the barrel of a tank, or it can appear in the sky as white phosphorus over a densely-populated concentration camp.  It can show up in the smashing of greenhouses, the uprooting of olive trees or the eviction of families from their homes.  It can take the form of a 12-foot-high concrete wall separating a man from the farm that feeds his family.

Or it can appear on the high seas in the form of a ship loaded with wheelchairs and bandages.

Now that’s real hate.  That’s venom.  It’s likely that  the Israeli love-commandos were exposed to a leak of terror and possibly hate due to inadequate sealing of storage canisters by the dirty hippies, which would account for their unnecessary use of harsh language while shooting the misguided puppets of international terrorism.

An Israeli politician pointed out that the flotilla was trying to infiltrate terror into Gaza, which makes sense given the use of a ship formerly used by the Guinness brewery.  The MV Rachel Corrie, was named after an American protester who violently attacked an Israeli buldozer by standing in front of it and was lovingly crushed to death under its tracks.

This ship is equipped with tanks once employed for exporting Guinness but now converted to a far more sinister use.  The tank on the left has been filled with Hate-Dioxide  and the one on the right with Terror-Tetrachloride.  These seemingly harmless substances can be readily broken down to their constituent parts using only simple household cleaning agents found in any Islamic kitchen.

Cleaning agents of terror.

The Rachel Corrie is due to reach the Israeli exclusion zone two days from now.  Since the Israeli authorities have warned the ship not to enter this section of international waters, it will be the hippies’ own fault if love-commandos are forced to execute every last one of them.

Categories
News

Israel Attacks Aid Convoy

Israeli marines boarded a ship, MV Mavi Marmara, in international waters and killed 9 of the passengers.  No marines were killed, though some were injured in the fight.

It doesn’t matter that the ship was outside Israeli territorial waters, or that armed military personnel forcibly boarded it.  The Israelis in this case were still the victims as they always are.

Israel says the passengers on the ship attacked its marines with sharpened objects, steel bars and with guns taken from them.  It seems that the passengers reacted in a highly aggressive way to the appearance of masked armed men in the middle of the night, and in a highly terrorist way, fought back with any weapon that came to hand including the masked men’s own guns.

Any fool knows that you can’t be hitting armed masked men with iron bars if they happen to be Israeli soldiers.  That would make you a terrorist.

Another ship in the very same waters, 63 years ago was boarded by military personnel and the passengers also fought back.  But Israel would never accuse those passengers of attacking the soldiers, because those passengers were Jews fleeing Europe aboard the SS Exodus 1947, and the soldiers were British.

So there you have it.  When is self-defence not self-defence?

Everyone who resists Israel is a terrorist, you see.  Remember that and you can’t go wrong.

_____________________

UPDATE

Autopsy results

Cengiz Alquyz, 42

Four gunshot wounds: back of head, right side of face, back, left leg

Ibrahim Bilgen, 60

Four gunshot wounds: right chest, back, right hip, right temple

Cegdet Kiliclar, 38

One gunshot wound: middle of forehead

Furkan Dogan, 19

Five gunshot wounds: nose, back, back of head, left leg, left ankle

Sahri Yaldiz

Four gunshot wounds: left chest, left leg, right leg twice

Aliheyder Bengi, 39

Six gunshot wounds: left chest, belly, right arm, right leg, left hand twice

Cetin Topcuoglu, 54

Three gunshot wounds: back of head, left side, right belly

Cengiz Songur, 47

One gunshot wound: front of neck

Necdet Yildirim, 32

Two gunshot wounds: right shoulder, left back