There Should Be Blood

About fourteen hours into There Will Be Blood, it finally dawned on me whose accent Daniel Day-Lewis was copying. You see, initially I thought it might be Sean Connery, at […]

Gonad Gets Arrested

The phone rang. It was my lawyer, Gonad the Ballbearian: I’d recognise his soft snarl anywhere. I’m in the hospital. Get down here quick! Jesus, Gonad, I said, are you […]

Drink Driving Charges

Gonad the Ballbearian was in a skittish mood when he accosted me today. He was chuckling. He was sniggering. In short, he was anything but his normal boorish self. What […]

It’s a Client’s World

I bumped into my lawyer, Gonad the Ballbearian, today. Well Gonad, I said. What are you doing to celebrate International Women’s Day? Doing? he replied, What am I doing? If […]

Flasher nabbed

Gonad the Ballbearian produced a newspaper clipping today about some fucker in Ennis who was convicted of exposing himself outside a school. His surname: Bareness. You just couldn’t make it […]

The Christmas Crib

I bumped into my lawyer, Gonad the Ballbearian recently on the street. He was talking earnestly to a small plaster effigy of General Franco and sweating like a criminal. Aha! […]