Categories
Economy

Budget 2009 — My suggestions

Thanks to Marian Finucane for coining the word of the decade.

Bludget.

That’s what we’re facing tomorrow, I’m afraid, and that’s not just a figure of speech.  I really am afraid.  The incompetent, corrupt bastards who got us into this mess are now handing us a tub of Vaseline and inviting us to bend over.

They’re looking for â€3.5 billion.

Here’s my two budget suggestions: take back from the Catholic Church the â€1.5 billion this government paid on behalf of clergy who abused children while they contributed almost nothing.

Take the â€13 billion that the Corrib Gas Field is worth, and which Shell E&P is being given for nothing because of a crooked deal with two crooked government ministers, Ray Burke and Bertie Ahern.

Why not?  If all workers have to accept pay cuts, and if nurses and firemen have to pay pension levies, why shouldn’t a gigantic energy company pay its fair share at a time of national crisis?  Tear up the contract and make them pay.  If they refuse, tell them to fuck off.

Oops!  That’s nearly â€15 billion without removing a single carer’s allowance. 

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Meanwhile, David McWilliams puts his finger on the gigantic scam that the government is about to perpetrate in order to bail out their banking pals at your expense.

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Elsewhere:

Sunday Tribune

Head Rambles

On Bock:

Corrib Pipeline Protests

The Oil Company, The Crooked Politician and the Theft of Ireland’s Energy Resources

The Feast of the Blessed Condescension

Oh, the Sisters of Mercy, they are not departed or gone.

 

Categories
Economy Politics

Government Finds Out Figures On Morning Of Cabinet Meeting

The government didn’t realise the figures were that bad until the morning of the cabinet meeting.

What?

Sorry?

Are these people supposed to be running the country or not?

They didn’t know, until the day they met, how disastrous the tax take was. They just didn’t know.

What?

Are they working part time? Is that it? Are they spending most of their day doing part-time jobs painting houses or cleaning toilets or maybe a bit of landscaping?

Give me a minute while I shake my head.

This is the government, isn’t it? Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong. The government. Those who govern.

What? They only found out on the morning of their meeting, at which they planned to govern us, how bad the sums were. They didn’t fucking know?

Why not? Was it a secret? Was there a bad civil servant out there saying, No! I’ll tell ya when I’m good and fuckin ready?

No. Of course there wasn’t. The reason they didn’t know is because they’re a crowd of fucking idiots.

That’s our government. Jesus, that’s what’s protecting us from oblivion.

We’re fucked.