Gonad the Ballbearian was in a skittish mood when he accosted me today. He was chuckling. He was sniggering. In short, he was anything but his normal boorish self.
What the hell is up with you?, I demanded, abandoning my crossword clue: Primitive African xylophone.
Oh, he said, I was just thinking of [...]
So the lawyers aren’t going to suffer a crippling reduction in fees after all. What a relief.
It looked for a while as if they were going to be forced to manage on a measly €1000, but no. Common sense prevails and their fees remain at a richly-deserved €2500. Per day.
Now, I know [...]
I bumped into my lawyer, Gonad the Ballbearian, today.
Well Gonad, I said. What are you doing to celebrate International Women’s Day?
Doing? he replied, What am I doing? If you have to ask, there’s no point, is there?
Eh? What’s that you say, Gonad?
You shouldn’t need to ask!
What the fuck are you on [...]
Jesus, what is it with Latvian hookers these days? I remember a time when you’d hardly see a single one in the whole country, but now, all of a sudden, they’re everywhere.
I loved the story on the front page of yesterday’s Limerick Leader. Two Latvian hookers were in court, accused of operating a [...]
I bumped into my lawyer, Gonad the Ballbearian recently on the street. He was talking earnestly to a small plaster effigy of General Franco and sweating like a criminal.
Aha! I said. Gonad! The very man. There’s a few fuckers I want you to sue for me. I have the list [...]
Did you know that the late Kim Il Sung is still President of North Korea? Isn’t that great?
I told Gonad the Ballbearian about this last week, and he jumped up like he’d been farted at by a Donegal detective. I’ll be back to you he said, and he was as good as his [...]
My lawyer, Gonad the Ballbearian, isn’t a 300-pound Samoan, but you can’t have everything. He ran away from the circus to become a lawyer but ended up working in Limerick, which just goes to show that there’s no escaping the K Twins: Kismet and Karma.
I invited him out for a drink recently and, I must [...]
