Warped priorities

Why Monica got so much money

In yet another government mishap, Minister Martin Cullen today walked away from almost certain death when a door blew off the military helicopter in which he was travelling.
Army sources were quick to disclaim responsibility.
It’s a fuckin disaster, said Col Stephen Anxious.
When pressed for more details, he explained, We had the fuckin door rigged with a [...]

Slackhammer, Knobb and Poultice
Attorneys-at-Law
========================
Dear Mister TheRobber,
We act for Minister Martin Cullen’s cock (referred to hereinafter as the elected member).
Having examined recent articles published by you, we conclude that you have traduced and maligned the elected member in a gratuitous and vexatious manner. We wish to make it plain that, as an appendage of a [...]

See?
And they laughed at me for being such a big fan of Stargate! Ha! I bet they’re sniggering on the other side of their faces now that scientists have discovered an earth-like planet only 50 million light-years away, orbiting the Sol-like star, Mu Arae.
See? See??
Ha!
I suspect this discovery is more significant than the scientists realise. [...]