I’m so distraught at the thought of Ireland coming last in the Eurovision Song Contest that I’m unable to see my keyboard through the tears.

Instead, I’ve asked one of my associates to say a few words. This is Zeljko’s view on it.

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At long last, Glorious Serbian Peoples is march to victory on evil enemy.
Ever [...]

Suppose you woke up one morning and discovered you were a brutal dictator. Never mind how it happened – maybe aliens caused it or it was by magic. One day, you were an obscure but diligent Post Office clerk or something, and the next day you’re the brutal dictator of a medium-sized country. [...]

Amazingly, I actually made it out for a pint, but only to the local pub with Jimbo. A good walk, which is probably as well since we both need the exercise.
A good chunk of our night, I’m sorry to tell you, was given over to the late Mr Milosevic, a thundering bollocks, in my humble [...]