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Serbian Victory in Eurovision Song Contest

I’m so distraught at the thought of Ireland coming last in the Eurovision Song Contest that I’m unable to see my keyboard through the tears.

Instead, I’ve asked one of my associates to say a few words. This is Zeljko’s view on it.

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At long last, Glorious Serbian Peoples is march to victory on evil enemy.

Ever since despicable Field of Blackbeards massacre in 1389, Serbian Peoples is carry great and righteous anger for oppressings to Tragic Serbian Peoples.

In five hundred years — 500!! — Misunderstood Serbian Peoples is celebrate great defeat and oppressings under evil Ottoman jackboot.

princip Only hope in many years is come in 1914 when Great Hero of Sorrowful Serbian People,Gavrilo Princip, jump out of café  in Sarajevo and execute Archduke Franz Ferdinand — Bang! Bang! — to plunge Europe into Great War. He not finish sandwich.

Is great moment for Fearless Serbian Peoples.

194px-Milosevic-1Is other Great Moment come for Glorious Serbian Peoples in 1989 when historic leader Slobodan Milosevic (what’s first name mean Freedom) assure Oppressed Serbian Peoples in Field of Blackbeards (or as we say Kosovo Polje, what really not mean field but nevers mind). Slobo tell them how nobody never beat them no more again and specially not evil policemens.

180px-Evstafiev-ratko-mladic-1993-w180px-Evstafiev-Radovan Karadzic 3MAR94Is other great moments for Serbian Peoples, when evil smelly Franjo Tudjman take disgusting Catholic Croatia out of Heroic Yugoslav Federation and make possible Glorious Mass Killing of filthy smelly Muslims Peoples in Bosnia i Herzegovina by Poetic Proxy Leader Karadjic and Fearless Soldier Mladic. Also by Heroic militia leader and great sporting persons, Arkan, the Lord rest his soul. Is martyr.

Is wonderful.

All, of course, lead to Treacherous Destroying of Serbia from Bill Clinton (filthy cigar-inhaler) Air Bombing and excluding from all things but is normal for Tragic Serbian Peoples Who is Always Right. And so is good and bring even more oppressing and miserable for Serbian Peoples as History say always happen. But is good too and Sorrowful Serbian Peoples make more celebration on it.

What wonderful wisdom Great Leader Milosevic show Glorious Serbian Peoples in giving own life for cause!

What genius to make such Plan: make many new country and all vote for song of Beloved Stare Jugoslavije!

What Prophet is such man who say:

I must break up Glorious Yugoslav Federation, even make great painings for Glorious Yugoslav Peoples and maybe perhaps many killing too. Who knows — perhaps even becoming billionaire in process but is not importants.

I make sacrifice because in end will lead to Great Srpska glorious victory in despicable bourgeois Eurovision Songs Contesting!!

Aaahh. How true. What great day for Glorious Serbian Peoples!

Poor Slobodan, is pity he not live to see Musical Serbian Peoples take prize for Best Song in Greatest-in-World Transvestite-Klingon Singing-Writing Competition.

Is all worth massacre in end – no?

bosnia

A small price to paying for win Glorious Eurovision Sing Contesting.

Is New Serbia!

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Many thanks to Zeljko for that.

Here’s a related post

And anotherÂ

kick it on kick.ie

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Great Brutal Dictators

Suppose you woke up one morning and discovered you were a brutal dictator. Never mind how it happened – maybe aliens caused it or it was by magic. One day, you were an obscure but diligent Post Office clerk or something, and the next day you’re the brutal dictator of a medium-sized country. Would you do the job to the best of your ability, the same as you used to when you were stamping TV licences? Leave aside the moral qualms, scruples and other side-issues, and just take it as given that you’re in the job and there’s no getting out of it.

I often wondered about myself doing that kind of work, especially when I saw other brutal dictators and how they ran their businesses. Ceaucescu, for instance. A crowd of people gathered outside his palace, shouting rude things up at him, and what did he do? He ran for it, got caught, got shot and was no more. Milosevic, likewise, was toppled by a crowd of people shouting at him. So was Honecker.

I don’t get it. These guys were supposed to be brutal dictators, so why didn’t they dictate brutally? Why didn’t they just shoot half the protesters? That’s what I’d do. I’d brutally dictate. I’d gas them. Why? Because I’m a brutal dictator and it’s my job.

It’s the same with dissidents. You have all these so-called brutal dictators allowing newspapers and television to criticise them. Not on, lads. You can’t do that and expect to stay in the job as a tyrannical despot. You have to crush all opposition and all dissent. It’s part of the job description, simple as that. Look at a great medium-sized dictator: Assad of Syria. Assad was absolutely ruthless, prepared to wipe out entire cities, imprison opponents, crush political dissent. In Assad’s Syria, you just would not think of marching on the streets because he’d send in the tanks and they’d kill you. You knew he meant it. But Assad was clever enough to stay political. He didn’t bother oppressing religious minorities and as long as you kept your mouth shut, he’d probably let you alone. He even passed the final test for membership of the Institute of Great Brutal Dictators by dying of natural causes.

If you want to see truly great brutal dictators, you really have to look at Stalin and Mao, who completely terrorised friend and foe alike for decades, wiped out millions of people and controlled every tiny detail of their vast empires, while at the same time persuading the majority that they personally knew nothing about the mass murders, torture, disappearances and general terror all around them. They died of natural causes, unopposed to the last, and still convinced they were right. Now that’s world-class brutal dictation for you.

Saddam seemed to have all the qualities necessary to be a great brutal dictator. He killed everyone, and even murdered some of his own supporters to keep the rest of them scared. He eradicated criticism in the press. He tolerated no resistance. He crushed all opposition without mercy and he stole billions from the public purse. But what Saddam didn’t realise was that, unlike Stalin and Mao, he was really a puppet brutal dictator, and could be removed as easily as he had been installed. He failed the test by breaking the First Law of Brutal Dictation: choose your enemies. Pol Pot did the same thing by pissing off Vietnam, and the Vietnamese tank divisions promptly rolled over the Khmer Rouge, squashing them, but Saddam’s mistake was even worse.

Saddam made an enemy of his puppeteer, not realising they only needed to cut the strings and in the end that’s what happened. The puppeteers cut Saddam’s strings.

All except one.

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Politics World

Later

Amazingly, I actually made it out for a pint, but only to the local pub with Jimbo. A good walk, which is probably as well since we both need the exercise.

A good chunk of our night, I’m sorry to tell you, was given over to the late Mr Milosevic, a thundering bollocks, in my humble opinion, and no loss to humanity. An individual who, for opportunistic reasons, facilitated a gratuitous war in which there were absolutely no winners. At least Babic had the decency to acknowledge the evil of his actions before ending his life. I was looking at the news last night, at footage perhaps of the Dayton talks or something like that, and there were Milosevic, Tudjman and Izetbegovic. Table quiz question!! What do these guys all have in common? Yep, they’re all fucking dead.

While musing on the Yugoslavian conflict, and in particular on the flaccid European Union response to the genocide on its doorstep, my thoughts wandered to the Rwandan obscenity of 1994. Now, admittedly, we did just as little about both genocides, but I thought we probably agonised a good deal more about the European one. We were upset about people like us being killed. In truth, we achieved an astounding thing, by inventing the concept of racist apathy. It’s that kind of original thinking that makes the EU so great today.