Slackhammer, Knobb and Poultice
Attorneys-at-Law
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Dear Mister TheRobber,
We act for Minister Martin Cullen’s cock (referred to hereinafter as the elected member).
Having examined recent articles published by you, we conclude that you have traduced and maligned the elected member in a gratuitous and vexatious manner. We wish to make it plain that, as an appendage of a [...]

I was thinking there, you know, after that Monica Leech business, what other construction – apart from sipping his Coke – could be put on a newspaper article that said Monica was s…… his c… ?

Hmmm.
Maybe people would think that Monica was soaping his club.
Or sacking his cook.
Or soaking his cork.
Or seeking his coat.
Or sinking [...]