Categories
Religion

Pope Benedict Resigns

Before going any further, let me offer a word of thanks to the outgoing Pope for eight years of laughter and fun.  I’m sorry to see him go.  After all, it’s not everyone who can claim to have been a member of the Hitler Youth and also head of the Inquisition, but Ratzo wasn’t satisfied with that.  He had to make history in his going.

The last Pope to resign was nearly 600 years ago, at a time when there were three of them: the Pope of Rome, the Pope of  Avignon and a third, the Pisan Pope, all busily excommunicating each other.  Three mighty Jedi, representing the Dark Side, the Light Side and the Magnolia Side.  Papal Grand Masters, Popes and Anti-Popes, threatening each other with assorted Christs and Anti-Christs as their motherships jockeyed for position high above Earth in a time far, far away.

I’m going to miss Ratzo.   I’ll miss his  funny little pronouncements and his worries about how many angels can fit inside a condom.  I’ll miss his cost-cutting measures like the closure of Limbo.  But most of all, I’ll miss his cute liddle Cherman accent that so much fun gave us with the laugh-making at.

I’ll miss life without the Papahund.

‘Wiedersehen, Ratzi.

As absolute monarchs go, you weren’t the worst.

 

 

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More posts about Ratzo.

 

Categories
Crime News Politics Religion

Lars Vilks Murder Plot – Seven Suspects Arrested in Ireland

Seven people — four men and three women — have been arrested in Ireland on suspicion of plotting to murder Swedish cartoonist Lars Vilks.  An Islamic group offered €70,000 for his murder, with a 50% bonus if his killers slaughtered him like a lamb by cutting his throat.

They were angry with him because he drew a sketch portraying a bearded man with the body of a dog, wearing a turban.  The sketch was published in July 2007 by a small Swedish newspaper, Nerikes Allehanda, and somehow came to the attention of a bunch of people who decided Vilks must die.  How exactly an obscure Swedish newspaper came to be read by people in Iraq and Pakistan was never explained adequately, but even stranger, the sketches had already been published in large-circulation Swedish papers.

Vilks now lives in police protection.

It’s forbidden to make images of the prophet and they have a fairly simple way of expressing their displeasure: they  kill you.  Oddly enough, depictions of Muhammmad are common in books written by Muslims, but for some people, there’s no thinking involved.  In many ways, this makes it a lot like Catholicism, but for all his faults, at least old Ratzo doesn’t send out assassination squads every time I take the piss out of him.

This is lucky for me or I’d be dead a dozen times over by now.

I remember a few years back, discussing Rushdie’s Satanic Verses with a devout Libyan Muslim.  It was in a late-night bar in Limerick, and Tariq, the devout Muslim slugging on a beer, was explaining that it was essential to kill Rushdie for mocking the Prophet.

I asked him what he knew about the book, and he told me he’d read it.  Rushdie had to be killed.  As it turned out, I’d read it myself, so I asked him what he thought of the ending, and it was then he explained that he’d only  read some photocopied pages containing the offending passages.  And then he explained that they weren’t actually pages from the book, but some quotes put together by a cleric and handed out in the mosque.

So you haven’t actually read the book, just some photocopied pages, but you still want to kill him?

Yes.  Any good Muslim would kill him.

As I recall, Tariq had some strange ideas on the place of women in society as well, but that didn’t stop him going to night-clubs, getting drunk and trying to get laid.  I haven’t seen him around in a while.

Two years before the Lars Vilks incident, the Jyllands-Posten debacle was probably the most outstanding example of hair-trigger Islam, and yet its origins became completely lost in the furore that erupted after publication of cartoons depicting the Prophet.

It all came about innocently when Kåre Bluitgen,  a  Danish writer,  said he couldn’t find an artist to illustrate his book about the Prophet and in typical Danish style, the Jyllands-Posten newspaper called on artists to submit illustrations and published twelve of them.  Again, magically, the cartoons of this obscure Scandinavian newspaper somehow appeared all over the Muslim world, with Danish Imams touring the Middle East to stir up protest.

Riots broke out with Danish embassies being torched in Syria, Lebanon and Iran, and there was a strong suspicion that the whole thing was orchestrated, since nothing happens in Iran or Syria without government approval and absolutely nothing spontaneous is ever permitted.

It’s ironic that the seven suspects were arrested in Ireland.  Our government recently passed a law concerning blasphemy that would delight the hearts of demented, homicidal Imams the world over.  This law makes it a crime to offend the beliefs of any religion, or to put it another way, if enough crazies decide to be pissed off over something you wrote or drew, you’re a criminal.  If Jyllands-Posten had been published in Ireland, its editor would probably have been convicted of blasphemous libel.  I’m not aware of any other law in the Western world making it a crime to poke fun at somebody’s unproven suppositions, but this is Ireland after all, a fantasy world where almost everything is unproven supposition.

Leaving all that aside, however, isn’t it about time that normal, sensible Muslims got on top of this problem and started disowning the extreme attitudes of Koran-belt Islam?

Not too long ago we witnessed the insane spectacle of a British teacher receiving a jail sentence in Sudan for calling a teddy-bear Muhammad.  The fact that the bear was named after a pupil in the school made no difference.  Gillian Gibbbons had insulted the Prophet.

More recently in Sudan, we had the absurd Lubna Hussein case, where a woman was sentenced to be flogged for wearing trousers.

These are not the actions of rational adults.  These are things you’d expect from a petulant adolescent and it’s about time the middle ground of Islam started to condemn such bullshit, just as moderate Christian opinion distances itself from the crazy Sarah Palin fundamentalist strand of religion.

On a more sinister level, we recently witnessed two young lads in Iran publicly murdered by the government for being gay.  We see women rape victims stoned to death or flogged.  We see Hamas imposing their benighted, tunnel-visioned ignorance on the suffering people of Gaza.

It’s time for the Muslim adults to speak out but meanwhile, we have to put up with adolescent Islam.

Message to the adolescents:  it isn’t always about you.

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Previously on Bock

Imagine being a dead Muslim

Ratzo

Islam and Christianity Find Something in Common

Muhammad the Prophet (Peace Be To Him)

Idiots, religious lunatics and the war on terror

One man and his magnet

http://zombietime.com/mohammed_image_archive/recent/

Categories
Crime

Pope to Send Pastoral Letter to Ireland

Unless you’ve been living in another galaxy, or you were a bishop, you can’t have failed to notice the uproar that erupted in Ireland following publication of the Ryan report on the sexual and physical abuse of children by religious orders, and the Murphy report which detailed a calculated cover-up of crimes by the Catholic clergy.

I must admit I had little confidence in the Catholic church’s capacity to address these horrors, but the Pope has proven me wrong.  While Irish bishops in Rome are more plentiful than crab-lice on a parish priest, all pleading ignorance and ratzodog_laughing 2innocence (I didn’t know it was wrong to be fucking little boys up the arse, please let me keep my job, please, ah go on go on go on …), the Pope was getting the real story from Brady and Martin.

They’re a shower of bastards, Ratzo.  You have to do something about them.  They’ll fuck it up for all of us if the Irish people realise what we’re up to.

Ja ja ja.  Ich habe ein Spezialplan out-geworken.  Ich will, in der neues Jahres, einen  Brief schrieben, ja?  Nicht war?

A letter, Holy Father?  You’ll send them a letter?

Naturlich! Ich will einen grossen Pastoralbrief schicken.

But Ratzo, the people are out lynching priests and nuns.

Niemals you worry about these hodensacker. Mein Plan will alles fixen.

So there you have it.  Just when we despaired.  Just when we thought the Pope couldn’t give a flying fuck about the clergy’s activities  in Ireland as long as his money was safe, he has made an earth-shattering announcement.  Ratzo is on the case, and Ratzo is moving decisively very soon now to interevene in the whole filthy business by …  well, by writing us a letter.

When?  Real soon now.  Maybe some time next year, Ireland is getting a letter from Ratzo.  Dear Ireland, Don’t worry.  Be happy.  All the best, My Holiness.

Phew.  Isn’t that a relief?

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Previously on Bock:

Das Papahund

Ratzo

Ratzo’s Leap

Das Papahundchen

Categories
Humour

Things You’re Not Allowed To Joke About

None of the following forms of humour are approved by the Central Committee for Deciding What is Funny.  You will not make jokes about any of these subjects without first obtaining clearance from the PC Police.

Islam.  You can’t laugh at Islam or somebody will threaten to kill you.  Oops, I’m a dead man: Imagine being a dead Muslim.

Black people.  Unless you’re a black person yourself, in which case you can not only joke about black people, but you can even call them niggers and nobody minds: Chris Rock – Black People.

Mother Teresa.  The living saint, who is now dead, was a thieving old hypocrite, but you can’t say that either.  Oops again: Mother Teresa, the crook

Feminism.  It’s just not funny.  You will not laugh at the feminism.  You will not!! This is not permitted.  You will not inflict your patriarchal sense of oppressive entitlement on the sisterhood.  Understood?  Am I In Trouble With The Metaphor Police?

The Pope.  Jokes about the spiritual leader of Catholicism are in bad taste and will not be tolerated. Das Papahund

Tinkers. These ancient indigenous people of Ireland have a rich and noble tradition of burning PVC cable insulation, holding bareknuckle fights for money and having huge brawls with slash-hooks.  You must never, ever slag the travelling community, who are never, ever, ever wrong.  It’s not only a crime, but a sin.  Oops: Christmas Toys

Princess Diana (well, Mother Teresa again, actually).  Di and Dodi Done Down in Dastardly Deed

Catholicism.  Goddamit anyway.  Talk about asking for trouble.  Battlestar Catholactica

Jesus. Saint Bock’s Gospel

Vegans. Vegans, Jehovah Witnesses, Transubstantiation and Other Lunatic beliefs

Murder victims. Manson Family Murders

Padre Pio.  Piss this guy off and he’ll surround you. Padre Pio The Silicon Saint

Naming Cities.  We mustn’t use our names for foreign cities. Instead, we must use the same names as the locals.  Placenames and the Thought Police

Prophets.  I’ve probably pissed off Jews, Christians and Muslims with this one: Sorry, Moses?

Saints.  Mind you, this guy deserves it: Saint Paul’s Letters

So just be careful now, that you don’t go around offending someone, somewhere,some time, or you’ll have the PC Police after you like a speeding ton of bricks up a drainpipe.

There are a few more sacred cows I haven’t had a go at yet.  Israel is one, and of course there’s always the real sacred cows, which are also sacred cows, I suppose.

Categories
Religion

Pope To Excommunicate Holocaust-Denier Bishop Again

I believe there were no gas chambers, said Bishop Richard Williamson.  I think that 200,000 to 300,000 Jews perished in Nazi concentration camps but none of them by gas chambers.

This is an insane proposition by an insane man, but I don’t know why it comes as a surprise to anyone.  After all, isn’t it part of the Catholic church’s stock-in-trade to believe insane propositions?  For instance, you can’t be a member of the Catholic church unless you believe that Jesus turns into a biscuit, and if you can swallow that, you can surely believe there were no gas chambers.

Williamson is one of the four bishops who were consecrated in 1998 by the dissident French bishop Marcel Lefebvre, who split from the Vatican because his mumbo-jumbo was a bit different from their mumbo-jumbo.  All four bishops were automatically excommunicated.  Ironically, Lefebvre’s own father died in a Nazi concentration camp in 1944.

Ratzinger, of course, is going crazy, because he recently signed a decree reversing Williamson’s excommunication, and if there was ever a Pope who can’t afford to be associated with Nazis, it’s him.  After all, wasn’t young Ratzo a member of the Hitlerjugend?  Not an accusation you can successfully fling at too many popes.

It seems Ratzo didn’t know that Williamson was going around denying one of the worst crimes ever inflicted on mankind, and you’d have to wonder what kind of people he has around him.  I’d say he’s kicking the stuffing out of his papal chaise longue with his curly slippers. Was in den fuck hat on-ge-going hier in dem Vatikan mit diesen wichser mutterfickeren arschloch fuck fuck FUCK!!

There was not one Jew killed by the gas chambers, according to Bishop Williamson.  It was all lies, lies, lies!

Six million Jews were murdered by Nazi Germany during World War II, and the number is important.  Huge numbers of people were sytematicallly exterminated in the Nazis’ gas chambers at Auschwitz, Treblinka, Sobibor and elsewhere. 

And Ratzo didn’t know Williamson was denying this?

Jesus Christ!  Ironies abound in this story.  Isn’t this the same church that for centuries denied the Earth’s orbit around the Sun and only recently rehabilitated Galileo?

I’d say there isn’t a leg or a lamp-post safe in the Vatican tonight.

_________________________

Here’s Williamson:

________________________

 

Also on Bock:

Auschwitz

Das papahundchen

Categories
Politics Religion

Eucharistic Congress for Dublin in 2012

A Eucharistic Congress in Ireland, by Jesus.  How appropriate, and not a second too soon.

 

How we pine for the glory days of 1932 when priests stalked every dance-hall and evil literature was censored.  Don’t we miss the Irish Enlightenment, when foreign books were unheard of and a local filth-monger like Seán Ó Faoláin called himself The Leader of the Banned?

Happy, happy days, when nobody needed to think.  Great days when a kindly Church would do any thinking you required, and tell you what your opinion was.


Great days when a Catholic Archbishop had the final say on drafting our constitution.  When nuns used unmarried mothers as slaves in their laundries.  When Christian Brothers abused, raped and tortured little boys in their industrial schools.  When contraception was illegal.  When clerical child-abusers were above the law.  When mad, religious gauleiters turned this country into a Catholic Albania.

Isn’t it fucking marvellous?

Another Eucharistic Congress, by Jesus, and how apt.


It’ll fit in just fine with 2012, by which time we’ll be out of the European Union, and it’ll be just like back in de Valera’s day.  Our politicians will be down on their knees again, kissing some bishop’s fucking ring.  With a cultural and economic wall around us, we’ll be the envy of the world, as we gather together in our cosy mud cabins, telling each other the old, old stories, in between drug-addled bursts of the fucking Rosary.  Proud, uncorrupted and strong in our beliefs.

Christ, the blood stirs in my veins as I think about it.  All those legions of staunch Catholics marching behind their frilly banners in their monochrome trench-coats and flat caps.  A new Ireland, by God, and none of those foreign European johnnies telling us how to run our business. And what a wonderful job we’ve made of it so far, with a health service that leads the world, an education system second to none, and a twenty-fifth century public transport system.

Right?

Just nod and say yes.

All we need now is a Dev figure and a crazy bishop.  We already have the mad, fascist Catholic gang: Youth Defence, or Cóir as they prefer to call themselves now that they’re no longer so youthful.  Maybe Sinéad O Connor might volunteer as the bishop.

 

I’m a bit stuck for the Dev candidate, and any suggestions would be welcome.  I’m thinking that Declan Ganley, another foreign-born leader, might fit the bill, but these are trifling matters.  What counts now is that Ireland is back on the right track.  Strong, individual, Catholic and in its rightful position, with its back turned firmly to the world and its head in the sand.

God will provide.

 

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Previously on Bock

Das Papahund

Ratzo’s Leap

Cardinal Error: Brady Gets the Red Hat

The Mobile Consecrator Rises Again

Half God, Half Biscuit

Superstition, Witch-doctors and Other Religious Bullshit

Categories
Religion

The green Pope

I see the Vatican has come up with a new list of deadly sins. Fuck it anyway. Just when I was working my way through the old ones, here comes Ratzo with a whole heap of extra work for me.

It strikes me, though, that the new list isn’t nearly as much fun as the old one. Environmental blight. Stem-cell research. Drug dealing. Excessive wealth.

Wait a minute! Excessive wealth? What? Isn’t that a bit rich coming from the head of the Catholic church? Excessive wealth, by God, from an organisation that owns vast amounts of property right across the face of this planet. Gold. Diamonds. Art treasures. Land beyond measure. The Vatican Bank: secret repository of money from every crook who ever bribed a bishop and hiding place of Mother Teresa’s missing billions (the bucks that somehow didn’t reach the poor).

Nice one, Ratzo, telling the rest of us not to be too rich.

As far as drug dealing is concerned, I wonder what Ratzo’s buddies have in mind? I wonder are they condemning the cigarette companies, brewers and distillers? Or maybe they’re thinking of the giant multinational pharmaceutical companies who created the medical myth and now grow rich from a spurious anti-depressant industry?

What would you think? Is that what they have in mind, or are they thinking of scumbag heroin and coke dealers?

Yeah. I’d say they’re thinking of the scumbags in tracksuits. I’d say the scumbags in business suits are off the Vatican’s radar. What do you reckon?

I wonder if they’ll come up with a few more? Such as priests screwing little boys and going to court to try and stop it being investigated? Or nuns forcing a crooked politician to put a children’s hospital in the wrong place? Or clergy taking a huge pile of taxpayers’ money to cover the costs caused by their own abuse? Hmm?

Maybe when Ratzo and his pals deal with the problems in their own house, we might be prepared to listen to their lectures. What do you think?

In the meantime, I’m sticking with the old favourites: greed, envy, lust, wrath, sloth, pride and of course, miserable, small-minded envy. It’s part of what we are, so look lively now, y’hear?

_______________________

The Brothers of Charity:– Raping Your Children Since 1883 !!

What Dirt Have the Nuns Got on Bertie Ahern?

Das Papahund

Ratzo – First Blood

The Catholic Church

New Pope

______________________

Elsewhere:

JC Skinner

Head Rambles

Jazz Biscuit

Categories
Politics Religion World

150 Riot Police forcibly Evict Nuns from Polish Convent

You see?

You see?

This is the fate that awaits me for laughing at Ratzo.

And of course, then there was that ugly matter where I accused Mother Teresa of murdering Princess Diana. That was a bad business.

I knew it would happen in the end. It was only a matter of time before the Vatican sent out stormtroopers to enforce its will, and God knows, what better country to do it in than poor old priest-ridden Poland, in the grip of the Kaczynski Clones, Lolek and Bolek.

Here they are, the two fine Catholic leaders of Poland. Child actors once upon a time, and now the joint magnificent leaders of a magnificent, faithful catholic country, such as our own magnificent country once was. Before the evil unbelievers such as myself took it over and started to disagree with the Catholic Church.

(And to laugh at the ridiculous, corrupt power-mad child-abusers, and to make fun of them, and most important of all, to say NO!)

But still, some stories are so strange, so weird, so bizarre, that they require no embellishment.

Last week, in Kazimierz Dolny, 150 police stormed a convent to evict a community of nuns who had defied the orders of the Vatican. The Vatican had instructed the nuns to replace their Mother Superior, a charismatic leader who claimed to have had visions.

The nuns left, carrying guitars, drums, tambourines and similar instruments of mass destruction after a locksmith opened the gate and police in riot gear rushed in. They arrested the Mother Superior and a Franciscan friar.

According to reports, some nuns screamed at police, calling them servants of Satan.

They were disobedient, said Mieczyslaw Puzewicz, a spokesman for the Lublin diocese echoing my own view of women. Damn it, you can’t have women being disobedient. And if the State security apparatus can’t come out against disobedient women, then what the hell has this world come to? After all, what are police for, if not to attack women who disagree with the Vatican?

Hmm?

It seems that about 150 police in riot gear went into the compound to find the nuns defiantly singing religious songs and playing instruments.

Now, in many ways, these were brave police. Imagine storming a compound where sixty-five nuns are singing Kumbaya badly, all at the same time. I wouldn’t be able to do it, but it seems these Polish police are made of tougher stuff than me. I suppose it’s a hangover from the Communist era, combined with extreme Catholicism.

Lublin Archbishop Jozef Zycinski called the police operation a last resort meant to help the ex-nuns:

Today’s police intervention was a sort of act of desperate aid for people who for the past two years have lived in very unusual conditions, in a closed environment, in seclusion, in uncertainty, where various forms of thought take shape.

(Archbishop Zycinski later denied that he had actually been referring to the Vatican).

According to reports, when the convent’s electricity was cut off earlier this year, sympathetic local residents brought them them food after dark.

OK. Let’s just take a moment to reflect.

This didn’t happen in the fourteenth century. This happened last week, in Poland, a modern European democracy, or so we’re asked to believe. Last week, in a modern, enlightened country, a member of the European Union, 150 riot police launched an assault on a dissident convent to enforce the Vatican’s will.

What?

And then people wonder why they’re leaving Poland in their hundreds of thousands to come to Britain and Ireland? Figure it out!

Categories
Religion

Half God, Half Biscuit

Horoscopes, astrology, palm reading, clairvoyance, mediums and tarot are the new Irish superstitions, according to Seán Brady, Archbishop of Armagh. (You might remember Seán from the open letter I wrote to him a while back – have a look at the end of this page).

You can see how he’d be upset, can’t you?

Sean would prefer people not to believe in superstitions, mediums and shamans. Absolutely not. Instead, he wants people to believe in perfectly reasonable things that aren’t a bit superstitious. For instance, people should believe that when Seán waves his hands at a biscuit, he can turn it into God. Hmm. That seems logical.

He’d also like them to believe, among other things, that

  • God has a mother and presumably therefore a grandmother, cousins and in-laws

(Holy Eamonn, second-cousin of God, pray for us sinners . . .)

  • The dead can walk

A

  • Seán’s boss, Ratzo, is infallible.  You remember Ratzo? The kindly old former Hitler Youth and head of the Inquisition.
  • Mother Teresa wasn’t a swindling crook
  • Seán and his buddies have the power to forgive sins
  • The church he represents has anything to do with the teachings of Jesus.

Seán is upset that people have become distracted from their faith, as he puts it. People, according to Seán, are seeking to control their own future. I’m guessing here that Seán would like people to place themselves in the hands of his priests, as they used to do in the old days.

Who remembers what happened when people placed themselves in the hands of priests? More to the point, who remembers what happened when priests with too much power and nobody questioning them got their hands on people? Especially little people.

These things – tarot, astrology and clairvoyance – Seán reckons are part of the new Irish superstition.

Hmm. That would be as opposed to the old Irish superstition, I suppose.

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Open letter to Seán Brady: Brady Gets The Red Hat

Other deeply offensive posts:

They Just Don’t Get It, Do They?

Still Stuck in Knock

Mother Teresa, the Crook

Oh Those Feckin Old Bishops

Das papahund
============================

Categories
Favourites Humour Religion Technology

My Plan for Ireland vs England

I was in my study, contemplating the beingness of nothingness and slugging back a quiet whiskey when a powerful rumbling shook the Bockschloss to its foundations.

What the- I ejaculated as I sprang upright and dashed to the window.

Outside, on the rolling lawn, I could see a familiar little figure gesticulating at me. He seemed agitated and as I flung open the casement, the little tyke leapt into my arms, trembling.

Good God, Ratzo, I gasped. What’s happened to you? You’ve never behaved like this before.

Ach, I have the rounding-ups barely escaped, mein Bockfreund. Die polizei, they are arresting alles hunden in den Strasse und them up are locking! I only the miraculous evasion make by into a paper bag jumping und mit mein kopf only peeping out, you see, and so they are gedenken that I only a midget am.

And not a bull pontiff, I finished for him.

Papahund

Ja, he gasped. Was ist los mit den Welt, mein Bockfreund?

I don’t know, Ratzo. I think they’re arresting everybody who knows any secrets, and the dogs in the street are the obvious target.

As I spoke, something outside in the grounds of the Bockschloss caught my eye.

Ratzo, I said. That terrible rumbling I heard?

Ja? Ratzo looked shifty.

Was that you driving the giant military transporter I see parked on my lawn?

Ratzo said nothing.

Well – was it?

Ratzo rolled on his back and panted.

Don’t give me that crap Ratzo. You aren’t a dog. For Christ’s sake, you’re half Pope.

I only it to try out vanted, he pleaded pathetically.

That was when the penny dropped. You took the Desecrator again, didn’t you, Ratzo, damn you?

You might remember my design for a mobile Consecrator. The idea came to me when I heard that Mayo County Council were going to bless the roads to cut down road deaths. I felt it could be done more efficiently by machine, and all it would take was a County Council driver instead of a highly-trained killer-priest.

Then, the other possibilities started to take shape. Graves. Multi-denominational graveyards. There you are with your priest or mullah or whatever, and he’s blessing the grave of your loved-one, but he can’t spray this sanctity stuff in an exact right-angled shape, so he accidentally blesses his neighbour with the wrong flavour of religion. Not a nice notion. So I thought, maybe the lads from the Council could just back the Consecrator over the grave, turn the knob to whatever religion you need and just switch it on. Let it run for a few minutes while they’re having their tea, and the whole thing is done.

It was a short step from there to the military version. The Desecrator, capable of cursing your enemy in all known religions simultaneously, would be towed behind an armoured personnel carrier and fire curses horizontally at your opponent, at approximately knee height. No soldier with cursed legs would be able to fight you properly.

So that’s what the little Pontiff-dog was up to!

You were going to launch an attack, weren’t you? Ratzo, you little hound.

No. I promise, I was only to Croke Park mit it going, the earth to bless before the grosse rugger fussball match tomorrow. For the Peace in alles der Weld.

What?? I had an idea. Damn Ratzo. Maybe you’re onto something after all.

Forgetting about the little Papahund, I raced outside to where my Desecrator was housed.

Quick, Ratzo, I said. We must work all night at this. If we can re-balance the sanctity-malevolence matrix generator and reverse the polarity on the inertial prayer-curse dampers, we could fire an evil Delaney-seeking version of Faith of Our Fathers straight through the walls of Croke Park. Take out Delaney with the world’s first military Smart-Curse, and the whole rotten FAI edifice will crumble. Mwoo-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!

kick it on kick.ie