Categories
Limerick Politics

Dead Presidents and Limerick Councillors

Limerick city councillors love their dead American presidents, but none more fervently than Pat Kennedy who feels a special bond to the famous (or notorious) Irish-American namesake clan whose gangster father bought the 1960 presidential election for young Jack, a man with a great tan, excellent teeth and a prodigious libido.

Jack would shag anything with a pulse and frequently did, often sending his Secret Service minders to summon random women from the adoring crowds, though history doesn’t record how many sweaty couplings he managed to squeeze in during the hour he visited Limerick in June 1963.  With all that waving to crowds, reciting patronising platitudes and kissing babies, he probably hadn’t much time for more than three or four liaisons.

JFK Limerick 1963

Kennedy checks his list in Limerick

But never mind all that.  Pat Kennedy is a big fan of JFK anyway.  For that matter, Pat seems to be a huge fan of American presidents in general, having named his son Thomas Jefferson.  The Founding Baby.

Pat’s latest wheeze is to rename a bridge in the city.  Via some sort of political stroke, the local councillors managed to change the long-established Shannon Bridge to the John Fitzgerald Kennedy Bridge.  On two previous occasions when he held the pointless position of Mayor, Pat managed to get his name on plaques attached to bridges.  Indeed, one of those plaques is on the bridge he wants call JFK.  So good they named it twice.

If that bridge could talk, it would say Ich bin ein Limericker!!

Kennedy visited Limerick for an hour over 50 years ago, but somehow, Pat Abraham Lincoln Kennedy seems to think that’s enough and by hook or by crook, he’s determined to push the renaming through despite widespread public derision.  A man with Camelot blood in his veins won’t be bothered by anyone calling him a vainglorious buffoon.

Pat isn’t alone in this gobshitery though.  Because of a political deal to buy his vote for a Labour mayor, Kathleen Roosevelt Leddin, he has an unlikely assortment of supporters.

They are  Joe Eisenhower Leddin, Tom Truman Shortt, Lyndon B Hurley, Kevin Dubya Kiely and John Obama Gilligan.

Ranged against them are the evil Diarmuid Bin Laden Scully, Maurice Khomeini Quinlivan, Maria Stalin Byrne, Michael Saddam Hourigan, Jim Mao Tse Tung Long and Denis Castro McCarthy.

Pat is threatening legal action if the council try to prevent his illustrious relative’s name being affixed to the bridge.  He took advice from himself, apparently, since Pat is a junior counsel, as well as a primary teacher.  A junior counsel!!   And a primary teacher!!

Was there ever a more qualified man in the whole world?

Don’t cross Pat, is the message.  I hope he doesn’t send himself a huge bill for his time and expertise.

Councillor Pat Kennedy
Councillor Pat Kennedy

Pat Washington Hoover Clinton Bush Ford Nixon Quincy Adams Kennedy is a true frontiersman.  Men like him, with their coon-skin caps on the top of their heads and their muzzle loading muskets, fought off the English, they fought off the Indians, they defied Santa Anna at the Alamo  and they made this the great country it is today.

One thing though, that Pat might have overlooked.  The Kennedys don’t have a glorious history when it comes to bridges.

Only sayin’.

 

 

 

 

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Elsewhere

Adultery was their thing

America’s 10 least healthy presidents

I was JFK’s teenage mistress

Categories
Limerick Politics

LImerick – Renaming a Bridge

Shannon Bridge Limerick

It seems the gobshitery death star has left orbit, at least temporarily, but since this is Limerick, we can be fairly sure the Dark Side will return.

For the moment, though, Councillor Pat Kennedy’s ludicrous idea to rename the Shannon Bridge has been defeated by the forces of ridicule, which is a very good thing in a small town like Limerick.  In small towns, people like Pat Kennedy start to get notions about themselves and it’s important to slap them down every so often.  Remind them that they’re nobody in the great scheme of things, apart from being small-town councillors in a small town.

It’s amazing how important some people think they are without the benefit of somebody reminding them that they are nobody at all.  And when the job involves putting on a robe and wearing jewellery, it’s extraordinary how seductive such pageantry is to limited men with small life experience.

Of course, small town people aren’t all limited, just as big-city people don’t all have a wide vision.  People from backwaters like Limerick and Dublin have achieved extraordinary things, while New York and London have produced incredibly narrow and venal individuals, so let’s not get too sniffy about it.

But at the same time, isn’t it sad that we’re still producing puffed-up self-important politicians like Pat Kennedy, and isn’t it even sadder that some people take them seriously?

 

 

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Previously: Dragging defeat from the jaws of victory.