Categories
Soccer

Leicester City for the league

Leicester City for the league?

Regular readers must be wondering if I’ve lost my dobbers. Have I gone over to the soccer dark side?

leicester cityWell, actually, I always had one foot in the soccer dark side. I’m one of the sad triumvirate who not only support Scunthorpe United but actually travel there to shout for that most mediocre of clubs, who have disappointed us yet again this season by threatening to get into the play-offs for promotion. It’s not right. They should know their place in League One, or as all right thinking people know it, the Third Division, or as some people call it, the future home of Aston Villa. Stay there at mid-table, going neither up nor down but remaining dour, miserable and stolid.

That’s what we love about Scunthorpe. They’re useless, but not bad enough to disappear forever. With any luck, they won’t try to improve, although this season they show a troubling inclination to get into the next highest division where, of course, they will experience only humiliation and defeat. Much better for our heroes to remain drab and only defeated occasionally.

On the other hand, who doesn’t love the underdog?

Well, it appears that everyone in the whole wide world loves Leicester City, including the clubs they’re trying to beat and that’s why I’ve been following them for a while, though not as long as the man in the UK who put a £30 bet on them at odds of 5,000 to one.

I don’t know how accurate  this is, but someone on the radio said it, so it must be true. Apparently, these odds are the biggest any bookie has ever offered. (Or something). Apparently, the next-longest odds are 2,500 to 1 and that’s the odds against the Pope playing for Italy. Now, to be honest, provided that’s not a contradiction in terms, if I happened to be the Pope and saw those odds, I’d be straight on the phone to the Italian manager.

Hey! I see those odds. Why you not let me come on for two minutes? We split the money. Ok?

Ok. He’s the Pope and they never do anything dodgy with money.

Isn’t that right?

Of course it is, Mr Calvino.

You agree, Archbishop Marcinkus?

Sure thing. Leave the bag on the steps of the church and walk away.

We could yet see the Pope playing for Italy. Who’s to say he won’t, if the money is good enough? But if the odds against the Pope playing for Italy are 2,500 to one, what on earth was going on in the mind of the bookies who offered 5,000 to one against a Leicester win?

Answer: greed. That’s what was going on in their minds, and panic is what launched them into a stampede of ticket-buying over the last few weeks, offering anything up to two-thirds of potential winnings for Leicester bets.

Don’t you love it? And don’t you love the idea that somewhere out there is an ordinary bloke, much like you or me, holding a ticket that will be worth £150,000 if Leicester win the League? An ordinary lad who didn’t cash it all in for a sizeable inducement but who decided instead to ride that wave wherever it takes him.

It’s for him we should all be shouting over the next few weeks. For him, for the fans who have never won anything before now and for the players who somehow have created a cohesive team, beating the best in spite of the difference in price-tags.

Who doesn’t love an under-dog? Especially when that dog is just about to piss against the biggest lamp-post on the street.

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Stop Press!

 

Leicester have just won the League after Tottenham drew with Chelsea 2-2 and nobody anywhere is sorry. Not even the Tottenham crowd, although they must be feeling a little sick.

Nobody begrudges Leicester this title.

It can only be good for sport.

 

Categories
Religion Soccer

Virgin Mary Wins League for Man City

Who knew the Virgin Mary was a football fan?

According to the callers on Liveline, Manchester City’s second goal was a miracle resulting from prayers to the Virgin Mary at Medjugorje.  JoeYehYehYeh played along, even going so far as to ask one of the crooks priests at Medjugorje how many miracles had been attributed to the shrine.  I know they have to be preweved, said Joe, but how many miracles happened in Meddagore-Jay ?

Proved, now.  Imagine that.  Miracles, as attested by the Vatican, are an unquestioned reality on our national broadcasting station.

I digress.  Duffy today was entertaining assorted maniacs who believed that Roberto Mancini’s visit to the Medjugorje scam was the reason the Virgin Mary guided Sergio Aguero’s foot and steered the ball into the back of the QPR net.  It had nothing to do with the fact that QPR were playing with 10 men thanks to Joey Barton, the Swiss Army knife of football: a complete tool.

It was the power of prayer.  Of course, it never occurred to the callers, or apparently to Duffy, that the Virgin Mary routinely ignores prayers to save people from terminal illnesses.  And lest you’re thinking that she only does big occasions involving many people, let me remind you that she did little enough to stop the appalling slaughter in Bosnia, where Medjugorje is located, despite the prayers of thousands of the faithful.  She must be watching the football when those calls come through.  Wouldn’t you think Our Lady Queen of Peace might have been able to help out there?

On the other hand, Mary is quick enough to stop a bullet for staff members.  For example, when Pope John-Paul II was shot, he attributed his survival to intervention by Our Lady of Fatima.  Not Our Lady of anywhere else.  Our Lady of Guadalupe didn’t lift a finger to help and neither did Our Lady of Lourdes. They were drunk.  Our Lady of Perpetual Succour was down for maintenance while Our Lady Queen of Peace was temporarily off line with connectivity issues.  Not even Our Lady of Medjugorje, who was too busy helping the Franciscan crooks to rip off credulous fools flying over from Ireland. No.  It was Our Lady of Fatima who stepped in and saved JPII.

There are so many Our Ladies, it’s hard to work out where to start.  If you’re a Star Trek fan, you’ll know what I mean.  The Q Continuum is a lot like the Our Lady Knitting Circle.  Hundreds of all-powerful demigods, each unique and yet identical to all the others, except that the Our Ladies have an extra special power, called intercession.  They intercede with God for you, just like an Irish Mammy.  If you want to pass your exams, have a word with Our Lady of Lazy Twats and she’ll intercede on your behalf, which is a nice way of saying she’ll nag God until you get the grades you didn’t deserve.

Sometimes, when Duffy is just being an overbearing thicko, you can switch over to another station.  When he’s shouting someone down, you can say What would you expect from that gobshite?  But then you remember that this character is one of the highest-paid presenters on RTÉ and it begins to dawn on you just how bad a station it is.  This Our Lady thing is more than just a casual slip of the tongue.  As I said in the post linked to above, what if a radio presenter continually referred to Buddha as the enlightened one, or to Muhammad as The Prophet, Peace be upon him?

Not that Duffy is the only one who does this kind of thing.  His colleague, the almost equallly-annoying Mary Wilson on Drivetime is also a big Our Lady fan, although somehow, because Mary talks like every nun you grew up with as a child, it seems slightly less insane.  Slightly.

It would help greatly if Our Lady published a list of things she’ll fix and another list of things you might as well forget about.

Maybe a website –ourlady.bvm.  Cloud computing, y’know, and what a valuable domain.  Bocktherobber.bvm has a nice ring to it.

Things I’ll fix.

Cancer.  No.  Sorry.

War.  Nah.

Soccer.  All right.

Rugby.  Maybe.

Finding lost hamsters.  Absolutely.

Poverty.  Sorry.  Ask Mother Teresa.

Winning the lottery.  Yeah.  Why not?

 

Since Duffy believes that Our Lady of Medjugorje scored the winning goal in yesterday’s game, it might be no harm to review the history of this particular monastery, and in particular the involvement of its friars in the slaughter inflicted by the Nazi Ustashe regime during WWII.  We might, for instance, bring to mind Father Petar Brzica, who, as a guard in  Jasenovac concentration camp, boasted that he had killed the largest number of newly-arrived prisoners, using a knife.

We might recall how the incredibly photogenic visionaries only appeared when the monastery was under threat of closure by the Vatican, due to criminality.

And yet, here’s JoeYehYehYeh on the national radio station, paid for by you and by me, promoting the sort of ludicrous twaddle that makes these holy friars such wealthy men, every last one of them.

Talk to Joe, and tell him what a gobshite he is.

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Also on Bock
Medjugorje Visionary in Dublin
Our Lady of Liveline