Das Papahundchen

Das Papahundchen

Ratzinger didn’t fall to his doom when he jumped out the bedroom window. As I was rooting around in the cellar, searching for a spare canister of polonium-210, I heard […]

Das Papahund

Das Papahund

Last night, as usual, I riveted a sheet of stainless steel to my bedroom door and, as usual, by dawn the dog had gnawed through it. As usual, I fired […]

The Feast of the Blessed Condescension

This article was first published in November 2006 _____________________________________   Isn’t there some big Catholic thing coming up soon, in early December? The Immaculate Assumption, or the Holy Dispersal. Something […]

Jehovah’s Bystanders

I thought we fought for years to get rid of religious maniacs in Ireland, but it looks like I was wrong. After struggling against SPUC and SPIC and SPOCK and […]


There’s the unelected Pope Ratzo the First over there in Rome, issuing edicts to all and sundry to the following effect: 1. If you’re a priest who finds out that […]

Jehovah’s By-standers

It’s very simple. Hospitals should have a form for you to fill out, and it should read as follows: Do you want to be treated – yes or no? No? […]

Ratzo – First Blood

I knew instantly it was the purple phone ringing. The one I keep in a specially-constructed safe under my bed. Not the red one I use to speak to Bush, […]

Pope Offends Muslims

I never thought I’d be saying this, but really, the Catholics aren’t too bad, are they? At least they don’t lose their minds every time somebody someplace thinks something bad […]