Paddy’s Mandocaster

I must show you something, said Wrinkly Paddy and leapt up from his chair. Look at this! he exclaimed, pulling something out of a bag. I got it last week. […]

Friends of the Earth

Friends of the Earth

I was sitting out the back with my neighbour Jimbo the other night, relaxing by the light from a pile of old tyres we were burning. Jesus, said Jimbo, this […]

Saint Bock's Gospel

Saint Bock’s Gospel

KLAKK-KLONKK!! Another shell slid into the breech of the Roman-built MkXIII Praetor assault cannon. KLANKK! The noise echoed off the cold stone walls of the cave. Too loud. Goddamn ! […]

Working dogs

I opened the fridge to get something for the dinner and it was – well, you know the way fridges get when you haven’t cleared them out in about six […]

Happy Birthday to Me

Jesus, I’ve just realised. Bock is a year old today. I was exhausted from all the vigorous blogging I do on your behalf, so I took the night off and […]



I went to a funeral tonight. Well, actually, I went to the removal. It always surprises me how many people from outside Ireland visit here, so perhaps I should explain. […]

The Unanswerable Question

I summoned my chief research scientist to my study. Now see here, von Heiligenacht, I told him. I’m determined to solve the toilet seat mystery. We’ll get to the bottom […]

Bock Nearly Killed

Imagine it. Almost dead. Gone. No fucking Bock. The end. What?? Oh, it was nothing really. You see, I have this habit of doing things. I just can’t help it. […]

Bock Storytime Number 1

That’s Amore They’re calling time when Tommy elbows me Hey, there’s Jack. You know him? I know him: Big M’s kid brother. He’s singing along to Dino with a beer […]

It’s a Client’s World

I bumped into my lawyer, Gonad the Ballbearian, today. Well Gonad, I said. What are you doing to celebrate International Women’s Day? Doing? he replied, What am I doing? If […]