A visit to the doctor

I got a bit of a chest infection during the week, hawking up big green oysters, you know? So I said I’d better go and see the Doc. Howya Doc. […]

All a huge misunderstanding

Hush, now Tom. Be quiet there or he’ll hear us. Have you got the bag of gifts? Good. Hand ’em over here to me. Good lad. For Santa “Frog” Claus, […]

Family Reunion

Family Reunion

It was four thirty in the morning. The Wild Turkey was all gone. I had no cigars and my secretary had gone home. There was nothing left but to sweep […]

Send up two women now!

Send up two women now!

Phoned up the Special Service. KKlallkk. Clickckck. CClunnnkkckkccck. Spez! Vat you vant?? I want Women. Now!! Put me onto the Man. For why you vant the Man? Cos I want […]

The Starship O’Malley

The Starship O’Malley

The crew cheered as the Class-10 Starcruiser O’Malley dropped out of hyperspace, another terrifying mission completed. The white searing light of the Sol star at the heart of their home […]

Munster take on North Korea

I was discussing the North Korea situation with Declan Kidney the other night, during a brief hiatus when Munster weren’t banging in tries against Bourgoin. Bock, he says, What the […]

Don’t jump!

I was strolling down to my favourite pub tonight, as you do, minding my own business, with the headphones on, listening to the latest Arab Strap album. Wondering if these […]

The Presley Story

I had to attend a clinic in Lucerne recently for one of my periodic face-changes – an unfortunate but necessary result of my life as an international assassin. As I […]

Murphy of Firehouse 9

The old apartment building was already in flames when Ladder 7 rolled up outside. Blazing embers leapt into the dark Manhattan night sky as a burly figure jumped from the […]

Days Gone By

Like most Irish families, we tended not to be a very talkative bunch. It would be nice to have an excuse. It would be nice if I could tell you […]