The Scunts pulled off their first win of the season, beating Gillingham 2-0 to rise from 23rd in the table to 14th. With one bound our heroes were free. Astonishing.


Do you think they’ll charge any more people in Britain? Do you remember seeing that kind of security convoy before? Do you think the people in these paddy-wagons might be […]

Midlands Music Festival

I wake up in the pub at about two o’clock. Not an unusual thing, you might say. We do this all the time, you might say, and you’d be right, […]

Leonard Cohen Lives!

I was lying on the floor, face down and covered in blood, which is the approved way of listening to my favourite loyalist band, the Electric Prods, when the news […]


I nearly didn’t bother watching the World Cup at all. I nearly lost all interest in soccer after the Heineken Cup, and my prejudice was nearly confirmed by some of […]

Boring Swiss bastards

Did you see that game tonight between Switzerland and Ukraine? Did you ever see anything so boring in your whole life? I ended up temporarily losing the power to my […]


Well, what a terrific weekend. I’m sorry for not boring you over the past few days but it couldn’t be helped. I’m sorry about that but I’ll try to get […]

Dyson with death

I had lunch with two guys today. One said: I never really understood what people meant by the expression Nature abhors a vacuum. And the other said: Why does Nature […]