Renowned local political exorcist, Willie O’Dea, took up the cause of a woman who was concerned about the PPS number containing the digits 666 which was issued to her new baby.
It was satanic, according to the mother, and Willie is famous for his opposition to Satan. Willie, in fact, is as hard on Satan as he is on Blueshirts and so, like the fearless parliamentarian he is, he took the matter to the Department of Social Protection.
And twice, the Department told him to begone. A curse on your moustache, they said.
Undeterred, Willie the Exorcist decided there was nothing for it but to confront the Devil in his lair and so, deeming it to be a matter of national importance, he brought the question up in our national parliament. Could the Department please change the child’s PPS number because a woman in Limerick didn’t like to see 666 in it?
Eh, no, he was told. They don’t create designer numbers for neurotic nutflakes.
Defeated, Willie was forced to tell the distraught mother that her child would forever be marked with the digits of evil. Check his scalp, he advised.
The Forces of Darkness may have prevailed this time, but Willie will soon be back with a Baby Powers bottle full of holy water, a bag of crumbled communion hosts and an unshakeable belief that our national parliament is nothing more than a circus for clowns to cavort in.
How fortunate we are to have such a statesman representing us. As our country struggles through the worst depression in our history, we have Willie O’Dea to argue the case for a mother who doesn’t like a pattern of numbers.
And what’s wrong with that?