Dublin Bus Services Disrupted as Drivers Take Industrial Action. Who Gives a Fuck?

So Dublin Bus is going to have a bit of a wobble? National fucking news! Front page of the papers. Headlines on the telly.

Do you know something? I couldn’t give one flying, perforated fuck about Dublin bus services.

Dublin is a ridiculous urban sprawl generated by corrupt politicians and the vicious, unprincipled property developers who greased their palms. Dublin takes up as much land as Los Angeles, but only has a third of the population. Even then, the third it does have is split fifty-fifty between heroin-addicted post-office-robbers and UCD graduates with an inferiority complex about being Irish, whose crooked, rich parents bought them a cheap pass Arts degree and a job in RTE entertaining their friends on early-morning chat-shows. Oh, and of course a few hack journalists and politically-appointed judges.

Two thirds of us Irish don’t live there, and yet all our national transport resources are sucked into this planning disaster of a city, leaving the rest of us with almost no public transport at all, yet the media don’t seem to realise nobody gives a fuck. And that’s because they’re not writing for the majority of us, nor broadcasting to the majority who pay their fucking licence fees to keep them in the smug bubble of mediocrity they’re so dependent on. No. They’re writing for their friends.

Dublin, in its incredible hubris, doesn’t know the rest of Ireland exists, though I understand this is a common phenomenon in small post-colonial societies like ours. I wouldn’t mind that too much if the inmates of Dublin, while condescending to the rest of the country, wouldn’t at the same time continue to suck at our taxes for their own benefit, and negotiate deals with Belfast to re-partition Ireland East-West.

You can just imagine Bertie the slime-ball schmoozing on the phone with Paisley.

N-n-n-n-n-n-no, Ian. Dere’ll b-b-b-b-b-be n-n-n-no problem. We’ll just take the fuckin — sorry — the airport off dem in de M-m-m-m-mid West, an’ give it ta youse.

What’s da’? Dublin pay for da peace process? Jayz, Ian, yiz are a gas fuckin — sorry — yiz are a gas man. Jayz no. We’ll take the m-m-m-m-money for da peace process offa da culchies.

Protests? Fuck ’em — sorry – forget ’em.

Of course, there are benefits. For example, there’s the quiet satisfaction of knowing that in Dublin you have to pay about â€50 million to buy an ex-Council shit-hole in Finglas. And then you have to spend the rest of your life pretending you bought an apartment on the Upper East Side, even though you know — you just know — that if you slid back those cheap Harry Corry blinds (all you could afford on that mortgage) you’d see the very same skangers riding their scabby piebald up and down the footpath outside your house, and the same junkies shooting up at the bus stop, just like they used to before you started believing it was Manhattan and not just another anonymous Council shit-hole.

Anyway, as I started saying, I couldn’t really give a vigorous toss if Dublin has a bus service or not. It might do the tax spongers some good to be like the rest of us for a day or two.

51 thoughts on “Dublin Bus Services Disrupted as Drivers Take Industrial Action. Who Gives a Fuck?

  1. For weeks now, I have been working on perforating the borders of Florida and Texas with a foldable silver hacksaw in it’s own black velvet pouch (I do everything with style, me). The idea is that, during the next big hurricanes, these states will just tear off like great soggy tea-bags and float off by themselves to form another country – that way we won’t have to deal with them any more. Maybe Alabama too – not sure yet.

    And now I hear that you can perforate a flying fuck too, as well as state borders. Well, I knew you could have perforated fellatio and perhaps even perforated heavy petting if you wanna get that heavy, but I never did know that a flying fuck could be perforated. I never did know that. And now I do. And I have some thinking to do.

  2. Funny, when I drove 60 miles along the freeway wondering when the fuck LA was going to end, it reminded me exactly of the way Dublin goes on interminably. Well I do live there now (though I’m a munster person originally) and to be honest I’d back you up on most of what you say. How about the other two thirds of the country come on up and see how many sheep you can shove up Bertie’s hole, I figure that’s an image that would unite the country, and give RTE something to transmit that might justify their impending license increase. BTW have you come across national dig out day? http://www.digoutday.com/

  3. Long ago I lived in Dublin and was at the mercy of public transport. It wasn’t unusual for the last bus to not show. I’ve no idea what this dispute is about (probably nothing) but I’ve never got over walking into town from Tallaght on cold, wet winter’s nights so Dublin Bus drivers can go fuck themselves regardless of the legitimacy of their current beef.

  4. Ah, Dublin….

    Unplanned urban sprawl? Yup.
    Green space eroded? Yup.
    Motorway bent to access developers’ lands? Yup.
    6 mile commute? 25mins by bicycle; 35mins by car; 1hr+ by bus.
    Proportion of people living in Dublin who were born in Dublin? Hmm, ask the CSO but I reckon less than 50%.
    Proportion of Dublin TDs actually born in Dublin since the city started going downhill in the 1960s and 1970s? Don’t know but check the Oireachtas records.
    Proportion of Dublin TDs born in Dublin who ‘inherited’ their seats from relations originally from other parts of the country? Don’t know but check the Oireachtas records.
    Proportion of national income tax and VAT revenue raised in greater Dublin area? Hmm, ask the Revenue but I reckon more than 33%.

    And, on a point of info, many of the public and private services availed of by Dubliners have been moved to customer service bases set up in Sligo, Clare, West Cork, Kerry, Derry, Leitrim, Louth etc.

    Curiously, when it comes to public services moved out of Dublin, the new location always seems to coincide with the Minister of the day’s constituency…

    Funny that, it must be good planning, again.

  5. I am originally from Dublin.I moved here 5 1/2 years ago and I agree with pretty much all you said Bock..Dublin has no sense of Its self though,a lot of the inhabitants labour under the Delusion that “Its just like London 5 years ago” always trying to play catch up to that rat infested hellhole.
    I personnally will never go back there and consider Limerick my home now.
    1 point you raised there about the rest of the country having no transport system,My good lady works in town and ,as the nights are closing in now,gets the bus home.But on more than one occassion has found that the bus simply isnt there.Last night she was waiting for 45mins at the stop.When she asked the bus driver where the other bus was.she was greeted with the jobsworths old faithful “I dont make the fucking Timetables up!”.She wasnt giving out to him but was asking if it had been cancled due to the driver being ill,and when she put this forward she got the response “Sure you’re on a Bus now..”. I think unions are a necessary evil and am not a PD/FF supporter or a member of the Aer Lingus Board but The Siptu representation in CIE haa to be pointed out as an example when the unions get it wrong and make Unions look like fools(Carry on At your Convenience-as a comedy movie example)..most bus driver are professional and courteous and do their job as if they nearly enjoy it, but its the jobsward,embittered fuckers that are there years and are earning the highest wages there that you know are always at the forefront of “disputes” that regularly fuck peoples working week up… i suppose my point is that Dublin is shite and (some )CIE emplyees are cunts… sorry for the rant..

  6. “spend the rest of your life pretending you bought an apartment on the Upper East Side”

    Class. Pure class. I’m a Dublin dweller and hate the fact that DB workers are on strike because their company is forcing them to change their work practices but this is one of the best (honestly) pieces on Dublin 4 attitudes I have ever read.

  7. No question the media/press has a particularly D4 outlook. The reality, on the streets (if that doesn’t make me sound too hood), is different though, isn’t it?

  8. Then again, when I think about the cretins you come across every day it might not be.

    Also, I was watching the news the other night and they were knocking down some housing estates in Limerick.

    “That’s a good start”, I thought. Shame Paul Tibbets passed away, he could have done it so much more quickly.

    Har har.

    Seriously question though – do you have as many skag heads down there? Maybe it’s just me but I’ve noticed a lot more of them lying around the streets here in the last 6 months.

  9. Twenty, a local shop in here has had to put tinfoil supplies behind the counter, now only supplied if the customer gives an undertaking not to cook up the heroin in the immediate vicinity.

  10. It’s on the way. There wasn’t much of a heroin problem here in the past and we don’t yet see the kind of thing you have in Dublin, with smack-heads crashed out on the floor of the Luas. Oh wait! That’s because we don’t have a Luas.

    But heroin is definitely on the way. The skobie dealers have started introducing it recently and it can only grow.

  11. I grew up in a rea of Dublin that has a particlarly bad heroin problem in the late 80’s.and i can see similarities down here now..

    You’ll have noticed the burglary rates going up in the last few years,that is a sign of an upsurge in Heroin use.. keep an eye on the press..it will rise as the heroin problem gets worse..

    In the last year the junkies have started hassling people outside a city centre pub that i frequent. 2 years ago it was just the odd street drinker/homeless fella.

    I pray it doent get worse but God doesnt seem to have message minder these days..

  12. Which pub is that? I haven’t noticed these people yet, but I’d like to know where they are so I can try to avoid them.

  13. Oh wait! That’s because we don’t have a Luas.

    Look, the sooner you come to terms with the fact you don’t deserve a Luas the better.

  14. The same dynamic exists here in Canada. The rest of the country hates Toronto because this city thinks it’s the center of the universe.

  15. Twenty: You’re right. We deserve something better than two disconnected tram-lines, but at least it would be a start.

    Medbh: Ah, but is Toronto controlled by a mediocracy? At least Toronto knows there’s a universe for it to be the centre of. Dublin thinks it IS the universe. (A very small universe, admittedly, in a very small backwater of a country, but still …)

  16. Well, it’s not quite the same because this country is so fucking big. But Stephen Harper just did a classic asshole politician move in giving a huge tax cut to the nation when Toronto is broke and crumbling. And where do most of Canada’s taxes come from? You guessed, it. Toronto.

  17. Hi, I’m from Donegal, living in Dublin.

    I get mildly annoyed if Dublin people get a little unwelcoming to Irish people to their own capital city. To solve this, i would suggest spending tax money on transport maintenance in the rest of the country .i.e. building a train line from the main airport in the country (of course it’s in Dublin) to places like Donegal where trains were stopped in a radically strange move for progress in the 60s. This would mean that people could stay in Donegal (not move to Dublin for jobs) and could bring loads of tourists up to us for a visit (and for their cash) and we and the tourists wouldn’t be stuck in Dublin.


    Politics can now be seen as a good career move for Dublin or country kids as it pays so well and you can make a quick buck through it by being a self appointed urban planner as Conan Drumm said. Why would anyone who starts off with a few morals ending up as a stupidly-rich politician, give a monkeys about the buses or trains or the urban sprawl when they can get choppers everywhere … or their own private jet.


    I hate the way Linda Martin and people like Twink are wheeled out by RTE to talk crap for a while to us when the don’t even qualify as z-list celebrities – i mean are they the best we can do? When RTE aren’t being all Dublinish pompous, they get all jigs-n-reels twee on us. Hate it, Thank God for cable.

  18. Denisio: Now that’s a comment. Have you considered starting your own rant-site?

    Just one small quibble. You seem to have picked up a little of the Dublin-think yourself. The population of Ireland isn’t divided into Dublin people and country people. For instance, I’m not a country person (even though I have many country friends).

  19. Getting back to the Drugs thingy, Bocky auld stock, I was meself at a little seminar thingy in a country town the other night, set up by the local primary school as an “Information” night for parents with a fairly down to earth and straight talking Presentation by a couple of Gardai from the Drug Squad. Not the usual waffly, do goody, just say no kinda stuff mind you, it included a demonstration of a caseful of all different kinda drugs and a few good pointers as to how you’d know what to look for in ure yungers. Decent information and also a bit of a scare in regard to the resources (Or lack thereof) at their disposal.

    Anyways, they told us that what happened was that the skobey fuckers that were selling weed obviously got in a shipment of the “Golden Brown” and held back the weed supply to create a few Heroin Junkies, (instant market) and succeeded fairly well.

    The root of all this shite is pure economics by all accounts, it being more money for smaller and easier to transport stuff.

    They reckoned that once people had tried it that they became almost instantly hooked. By all accounts it has become a fairly serious problem over the last two years. Pockets and small circles but becoming serious. We had avoided it more or less up until now. Heroin addicts then need to get their fix no matter what, that’s when things fall to pot and it happens over a period of weeks. All of a sudden you have someone who has to beg, borrow, steal or sell themselves to get a fix just to be able to keep the physical addiction side effects at bay, not even to get a high anymore, just to keep away the pain.

  20. Ah, I don’t think Ireland is divided into country people and Dublin really, was being sarcastic about the Dublin ego and was in a bad mood yesterday, sorry!

  21. My point exactly. They should get the fuck out of there and leave the fucking place to the banana sellers, travel agents and junkies.

  22. I only saw this post last night and I have to say I was so angry I actually couldn’t think of anything to write other that ‘Go fuck yourself…’

    At the slightest black mark printed, typed, or told in a low whisper about your fare Limerick and you’re up in arms at the injustice. Ranting and screaming like a man possessed…

    So where do you get off tarring an entire city with the same dirty brush.

    Don’t get me wrong, you speak the truth on many points to do with the pitiful excuse we have for a government but you have no right to call us all fucking junkies, armed robbers and dirty students. You certainly don’t like it when people call you a bunch of drug dealing, children burning, gangster ridden settled pikeys.

    But I’d never say that, because I know it’s not true. I know it’s a minority, infecting all urban sprawls in this country due to the social problems mostly created by the people in charge.

    I think posts like this simply add to the very things you seem to be against…

    You fucking hypocritical cunt, you can stick your blog up your arse from now on.

  23. Now then.

    Most people seem to have read this post using their brains, not their gonads, and most recognised it for what it is. I’m surprised that WJJ failed to see the point. However, his contribution shows precisely what I’m talking about: the effect that generalised and unfounded cliches can have on all of us.

    This is the sort of rage the rest of the country feels every day from the stereotypes of the lazy, incompetent Dublin media.

    Of course I thought it would be some of the Ross O’Carroll-Kelly types who’d take the bait and make tinkers of themselves. It just goes to show that even the most reasonable of people can resort to personalised abuse when they’re lost for words.

  24. In fairness bock, you spread it a bit thick for me to even consider reading between any lines. I’ve seen you go off on abusive tangents before and to be perfectly honest, I find it hard to believe that this was all a clever rouse.

  25. Believe whatever you like. It’s not a clever ruse: it’s actually quite obvious provocation, as Twenty was smart enough to spot, unlike you.

    Now, if you want to throw childish personal abuse, fuck off and do it on someone else’s web site.

  26. Now that the Dublin Bus industrial dispute is settled, the muck savages have even more alternatives when deciding how they will make their way to Heuston Station. Goodbye and best of luck, please fuck off out of Dublin in an orderly fashion…

  27. There was some hope for you when I noticed you browsing through the other posts on this site, but it could never last.

    I knew you’d eventually make a tinker of yourself and sink to the level of personal abuse.

    Sure enough, you have, so no surprises there.



    In case you’re baffled by this exchange, DD is referring to the recent murder of a peaceful teenager by a member of a brutal and uncivilised family who are held in general contempt by the people of our town. Despite our demands for action by the authorities over the years, these people seem to be immune to the attentions of the police, for reasons best known to the police themselves.

    DD’s characterisation of the poor murdered boy as “filth” has earned him his ban.

  28. Speaking from “the real capital” langerland, I have to agree with Bock. I feel that there does seem to be a general feeling in Dublin that the rest of us are just bogslashers and greenhorns and that Dublin is the only city that deserves priority, certainly with regard to Public Transport. As a Corkonian, and having been to Limerick lots of times, it’s a really lovely city and I don’t think it deserves to be slagged off. It’s visually certainly more attractive than Cork, but All cities have their scum and Limerick has of course problems with Moyross etc, where I might add, there are also decent families living, with no way of getting out of it because their houses are worth nothing. Cork has it’s fair share of shit also, in fact Cork City at weekend nights can be a seriously dangerous place to be. It’s disappointing to see Irish slating Irish on this topic though – and you’d swear Dublin was squeaky clean, judging by one or two comments here. On the few occasions I have to go there, I can’t wait to get out of it. It reminds me of London, or rather, a sad attempt at it.

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