I was studying an ATM, trying to figure out how to type a message.

Fuck you Brian Goggin! Fuck you Seán Fitzpatrick! Fuck you, Eugene Sheehy! Fuck you, Fingers Fingleton!

I thought it might work. It would be very handy for people to vent their rage against this bunch of complete bastards who run the banks.

And then I had another idea.

Remember those disastrous e-voting machines that turned out to be completely unreliable? The ones that caused Bertie-the-Thick to denounce us as Luddites when we expressed doubts about them? They’re all in storage at the moment, costing a fortune to keep, even though the dogs in the street know they’ll never again be used in an election, because they can’t be trusted.

So I started thinking, Wait a minute!! Why not put them in shops, the same as ATMs? Start asking the people what they think of this ball of shit created by our crooked bankers and politicians.

We could have real democracy. Put up questions of the day. Things like, Well? Will we give the fuckers another seven billion? Yes or No.

How about that?

Or maybe, What do you think of Yehudi Lenihan’s fiddling?

We could have quiz games on the machines, like Trivial Pursuits for politics. Name the ten crooked cronies who borrowed €300 million from Anglo. Prize for correct answer: a midnight visit from ski-masked policemen.

Obviously, they might have to be modified so that people could add comments, like Fuck you, Fianna Fáil crook bastards!


I think this could take off.


Also on Bock:

Bertie’s Parallel Universe

7 thoughts on “e-Griping

  1. Fucking brilliant BOCK.
    Although you do know that they have a ready excuse for not doing such a thing?
    It is of course that they can say the results arrived at by these machines would be unreliable! So all ‘Fuck-offs’ registered through these whoppers could be interpreted as being ‘Well Dones’!!

  2. Yeah, it’s called direct democracy and it’s how they run Switzerland.

    But for the last ten years or more in Ireland, they’ve been trying to move as far away from that system as they can without actually making it legal for TDs to ride people like ponies.

    For example, the bin tax protests in cork, where they successfully took the government to court and prevented them from withholding the service for those protesting the tax by not paying; in response the government brought in the “Local Government” act which specifically allowed them to do so, and the next time there was a bin tax protest, the protesters got stomped on. And there are a lot more examples where that came from.

  3. It’ll never work.Imagine the length of the queues at the machines.Everyone lining up to throw in their few fucks.Worse than Christmas eve on O’Connell street.

  4. I dunno Mule. Ever seen switzerland? Calmest place on earth (or one of them at least). I’m guessing that their ability to, if they don’t like something, hold a meeting and change the rules without having to go through a gaggle of politicians has something to do with that.
    Don’t like that roundabout at the bottom of the road? Call a meeting, get it removed. Don’t like the speed limits? Call a meeting, get it changed. Don’t like the income tax levels? Call a meeting, set a limit on it (yes, this was done). Don’t like educational policies? Call a meeting… well, you get the idea.

  5. The problem with that is that the inept cunts have taken out long term leases all over the country for the storage of the fuckin’ useless machines.
    The stupid fuckers.

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