Cursing Jack Has Pups

Puppy seeks home

As I brooded over a flat pint in the Filthy Skobe, my phone bleated painfully.  It was Cursing Jack.

Do you want a dog?

old_english_sheepdogA dog? I laughed. A fucking dog?  You’re insane. Don’t you know I already have the rottenest, meanest, houndiest hound that ever walked on cloven paws? The  Hound of Satan.

Ah, he said, this one is different. This one will be nice.

Will be? I interjected.  What’s this Will Be stuff?

Well, he shifted from foot to foot uneasily.

I can hear you shifting from foot to foot uneasily, I told him.  What’s all this about?

Well, he said, you see, the boxer got at the old English sheepdog.

Fuck, I said.  That’s going to a big bastard of a dog.

Yeah, Cursing Jack nodded.  An Old English Boxer.

Really?  I said, cheering up. Look, I still can’t take him, but at least I can tell you what to call him.

You can?

Cartainly, I assured him.  There’s only one thing you can call an Old English boxer.

What? he said.

Henry Cooper!

10 thoughts on “Cursing Jack Has Pups

  1. Hey Bock, has our friend Cursing Jack thought about contraception for said four legged hounds? They must be at it the minute he’s out the door…… tang god I’ve not been asked as I have an old age pension dog and two cats who are as bitter as sin…… the snip I think for de boxer?x

  2. I’m bad enough without letting Bertie contribute anything here. Do you want him to drag Bock down the same way he wrecked the country?

  3. hi Bock

    I know Cursing Jack. Well i was involved with the adoption of the boxer to him. ya ya ya ya . I get a call just like you. but Jack isn’t offering a henry cooper , the fcuker is looking for maintainance for the pups.

  4. I have a funny feeling this guy, had other uses for the morning after pill he got from the vet, and decided he might make a few bob on pups that might resemble himself, after he fell out of bed. Crusty The Clown comes to mind

  5. How is the old hound of satan? Still keeping the scumbags at bay. Any more trips to the vet?

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