Murphy Report – Bishops’ Statement First Draft

Clergy issue formal statement on Dublin diocese cover-up

The Catholic bishops issued a formal statement today, but Bock agents have managed to get hold of an earlier draft.  Here it is.


We, as bishops, want to throw up apologise to all those who were befriended abused by priests as children, their families and to all troublemakers people who feel rightly outraged and let down by the criminal conspiracy failure of moral leadership and accountability that emerges from the Report.

We intend to keep the lid on this. As a final an initial response to the Report, we decided to close ranks agreed today to request the National Board for Safeguarding Children in the Catholic Church to start another red herring explore with the relevant Government departments and statutory authorities, North and South, ways of burying this a mechanism by which to ensure that the Church’s current policies and practices in relation to the safeguarding of children represent plausible deniability best practice and that allegations of abuse are properly covered up this time handled.

We knew exactly what was going on.We are completely indifferent deeply shocked by the scale and depravity of abuse as described in the Report, even though we know that the Report wasn’t about abuse, but about our cover-up. We can’t slither out of this one but we hope that by concentrating on the abuse we’ll be able to take the attention off us. We couldn’t give a toss are shamed by the extent to which we covered up child sexual abuse was covered up in the Archdiocese of Dublin but it was all in good fun and recognise that this could cause trouble for us indicates a culture that was widespread in the Church. The avoidance of the police scandal, the preservation of our pensions the reputations of individuals and of the Church, are obviously the most important things, takes took precedence over the safety and welfare of children. We won’t be caught on the hop the next time.This should never have been found out happened and must never be allowed to be discovered happen again. Here  Have some meaningless guff to shut you up. We humbly ask for forgiveness you idiot.

The Report messes up our holidays raises very important issues for our comfortable retirement the Church in Ireland, including the money it will cost us the functioning of the Bishops’ Conference, and, how to stop people walking away the lay faithful can be more effectively bamboozled involved in the life of the Church. We will make up more nonsense when we get time give further detailed consideration to these issues.

In response to the many concerns raised about the lies we tell you all the time the use of ‘Mental Reservation’, we wish to categorically state that we’ll fucking kill Des Connell for letting it slip it has no end of handy uses place in covering up evil. Charity, truthfulness, integrity and transparency are bullshit must be the hallmark of all our communications.

Brady and Martin are going to shaft Murray. Ratzo’s like a dog over it. Cardinal Seán Brady and Archbishop Diarmuid Martin have been called to the Vatican by Ratzo the Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, to enable him “to tear them a new arsehole be briefed and evaluate the painful situation of the Church in Ireland following its exposure as a paedophile ring the recent publication of the Murphy Commission Report.” He’s in a shocking rage down in his bunker and he’s hitting the bottle hard again.  They will meet with Pope Benedict on Friday if he’s sober.

It makes us puke to say that We humbly ask that you continue to pray for all those who suffer due to being found out as criminals child abuse but as long as they’ll settle for prayers instead of money, it isn’t too bad.

Thank you for believing this bullshit.


Meanwhile, the bishop of Galway, Martin Drennan, told the Irish Times: The report says nothing negative about me in fact, you know. I don’t think I have any questions to answer, in fact, from my own reflections on the time there .

Bishop Éamonn Walsh, Auxiliary Bishop of Dublin, said you and your newspaper have put me under pressure … If I had done any wrong, I’d be gone.


Murphy Report Part 1

Murphy Report Part 2


All Bock posts on the Murphy Report

12 thoughts on “Murphy Report – Bishops’ Statement First Draft

  1. in other words, “whoops, we fucked up, that shouldn’t have happened. we’ll ask one of our teams to look at a process for seeing that it won’t happen again”.

    no promises, though, no reparations. just a hands-up “yup, that was us.”

  2. The WHAT?

    The “National Board for Safeguarding Children in the Catholic Church”?

    I thought you we taking the piss.

    But no. It exists.

    The Chairman’s statement.

    “With the support of a committed and hard-working membership, the National Board for Safeguarding
    Children in the Catholic Church has achieved the objectives it set itself for its first period of operation.
    The development by the Board of best practice standards for safeguarding children represents the
    expected level of performance needed in all parts of the Church. Safeguarding Children Standards
    and Guidance document, which will be published in February 2009, promotes core principles drawn
    from Gospel values mirrored in civil legislation and policy and applicable across both jurisdictions on
    the island of Ireland.”

    These people are insane.

    They think “the National Board for Safeguarding Children in the Catholic Church has achieved the objectives it set itself for its first period of operation”


    Did some abused ask them to achieve the objectives they “set for themselves”?

    This is yet more abuse of the Republic by the Vatican.

    “In addition, the Board will introduce a safeguarding questionnaire for completion by dioceses and congregations. Through this, we will keep abreast of what’s happening, thereby enabling us to comment on the scale of any risks to children within the Church.”

    What is it these Roman Catholics don’t understand.

    Their “Church” is full of child rapists and management that protect and serve child rapists. All the way to the top. Yes. The Pope. Ratzinger was the head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.

    Previously known as the Supreme Sacred Congregation of the Roman and Universal Inquisition.

    That piece of scum was Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith from 1981 to 2005.

    He knew everything.

  3. @ Bock

    I am astounded.

    Does the Irish Government recognise this creature that calls itself the “National Board for Safeguarding Children in the Catholic Church”?

    Are they getting grants from the Government?

    Do they have tax exempt charitable status?

    Have the Garda interviewed every member of that organisation to determine if they have a record of paedophilia or if they have given refuge to known paedophiles?

    Is the Government officially taking their submissions and if so why?

  4. As long as the likes of RATPOISON still run that show, the good guys on the ground don’t have a hope.
    The organisation as an entity is rotten to the core and will never be any other way, or at least not in our lifetimes.

  5. “If I did any wrong I,d be gone”” Since I am still here I can not have done any wrong” “Therefore I have done no wrong” I shall now take to the mountains to ponder on this wonderfull statement. I shall employ the mental sharpness of Aristotles and Platon, Heidegger and Mark in an effort to comprehend my lack of comprehension. I fear for the quality of my mental state. Why do we not produce such giants in the area of logic and moral as Ireland seems to do?. What are we lacking?. What genes are absent in our spiritual and corporal composition?. Why can we not make statements like that?.

  6. The National Board for Safeguarding Children is a well-run organisation, funded by the Catholic church but independent of it. Its chief executive, Ian Elliott, was responsible for producing the Cloyne report, which he accomplished without bias or favour.

  7. I thought that was how it was supposed to work : rape a child, say forgive me father for I have sinned and fiddle with some beads on a piece of string and then go and rape some more children and say forgive me father for I have sinned and fiddle with some beads on a piece of string…………and everything is ok and off you go to heaven? I’m sure there must be dancing naked around a bonfire somewhere in there as well.

  8. And here I thought this was going to be a recipe for waffles!
    – oh …I see… it is a recipe … for waffles. Thanks for deconstructing this one. Nicely done

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