Lesbian Impersonators on the Internet

Nuttiness on the net

It appears that Holly didn’t come from Miami, Fla, after all. However, she did tweet her way across the USA – and beyond.

The internet revolution is killing the sex change industry. These days if you want to do a Lou Reed you should just pluck your eyebrows, shave your legs and become a lesbian blogger.

There’s no need to go to the extremes of the English jockey of a few years back who did the Full Monty and had the Op – “and they’re off” -, just go on the net and you can be whatever you want to be.

According to reports the author of “A Gay Girl in Damascus” was arrested by Bastard Assad’s henchmen during the crackdown on dissidents in Syria. However, the author was neither arrested, female, a lesbian nor a resident of Syria.

In fact, our Gay Girl in Damascus was an invention of 40-year-old American male “student” Tom MacMaster. Tom is studying in Edinburgh. God only knows what he’s studying, advanced masturbation techniques probably. How can you be a 40-year-old student? At what stage does this person intend to go out and work and make a contribution to society?

My advice to Tom is not to venture up to the Highlands unless he’s developed a taste for having a new arsehole torn out of him.

Meantime, it gets better. A lesbian posting comments from the above on “her” site, LezGet Real, is actually 58-year-old Bill Garber, an ex-US Air Force veteran.

Brother Bill, who wrote under the name Paula Brooks, admitted that he was one of the editors of the LezGetReal blog and that he posted comments from “Amina Arraf”, the supposed Gay Girl in Damascus, but actually MacMaster.

There’s so many lesbians involved at this stage it’s hard to put your finger on, oh never mind, never mind.

Another writer with LezGetReal, Linda Carbonnell, says they’re devastated.

Carbonnell, who appears to have the decency to be an actual female lesbian, sighed: “The past three days have been devastating for all of us on LezGetReal. ‘Paula Brooks’ has been a part of our lives for three years now.”

Isn’t it heartwarming to know where LezGetReal’s priorities lie? On the one hand you have innocent people being murdered in Syria and on the other you have the tragedy of a 58-year-old male lesbian being outed.

Garber, who says he has now retired from his three-year stint as Donut Banger, has apologised for being deceitful and claims that the reason he was masquerading as a lesbian was because he wasn’t being taken seriously as a straight bloke.

I know how he feels. No one takes anything I say seriously either.

But hey, if I was to show up in a nice frock with matching handbag, or butch, I reckon I’d be besieged with outreach coordinators eager to hear of my travails at the hands of those beastly, white, heterosexual homophobes.

“Oh, I do declare men are all brutes, swoon.” Lash out a victim impact statement. There’s a grant in this somewhere.

Gay Girl in Damascus wrote of “her” life in Syria and her role in anti-government protests.

Earlier this month an entry on her blog, supposedly written by her cousin, said that Amina was arrested by Assad’s murdering Ba’ath party.

The “arrest” was widely reported, including by the BBC, the idiots. A campaign was launched by genuinely concerned people to secure “her” freedom.

In response to this, MacMaster said he wanted to present people with the “facts” and that they shouldn’t heed the “man behind the curtain”.

In Trainspottiing, Renton observes that in 100-years time there will be no men or women, just wankers. MacMaster is evolving a lot quicker that most of us it appears.

Meantime, did I tell you about my new blog?  My first entry is on frocks and Ryan Giggs and his brave quest to shag his brother’s wife, niece, aunt, mother, grandmother and anything anyone else in the immediate family that still has a pulse or at least hasn’t been dead for more than 24-hours.

8 thoughts on “Lesbian Impersonators on the Internet

  1. Haha Nice 1 Centurion. I always thought of myself as a male lesbian. In fact I seem to remember Jim, yourself and the bould meself having a few conversations on that very topic on a few occasions. How do we out ourselves was the thread while we manly tossed our hair.

  2. I recall same, we decided that you’d be the Lesbian and we’d pimp you out put you on the game.

  3. Fuck if any of the readers find out that Bock is in actual fact half man/half biscuit. Jesus they will be devastated.
    And when they find out in real life that you Mr Seconds out, Yes you! are in actual fact a talking goat from the wilds of west Clare! Well I can only presume there will be all out war!

  4. The auld internet connection is very bad up here in the hills for us goats LJS.

  5. Father Fitz has been very quiet lately. I must send him an email and see if he has any opinions on recent events.

  6. Fuck if any of the readers find out that Bock is in actual fact half man/half biscuit. Jesus they will be devastated.
    And when they find out in real life that you Mr Seconds out, Yes you! are in actual fact a talking goat from the wilds of west Clare! Well I can only presume there will be all out war!”

    There have been.. worse.. revelations.
    http://mytestserver.ifrance.com/images/bocko.jpg

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