Stupidity and Drink. With Dancing

What the fuck is going on with people who point at musicians?

Last night, I was out enjoying a quiet few civilised pints with friends, so we went to Nancy Blake’s hospitable hostelry where the usual Gonzo outfit were flexing their instruments.  It was all fine, good, cool and gemütlich, but what the fuck was going on with the crazed, uncoordinated woman standing in front of the band, swaying and pointing?

You know that I’m-in-charge, smug smile, and the weather-forecaster pointy-finger thing?  You there!!  Drummer!! Play!!

Now, as regular readers will know, I’m far too polite to approach such a person and ask them what they think they’re doing.  It’s none of my business, but I still cringe for them, partly out of a sense of empathy and partly because I know, in my heart of, eh, hearts, that I probably was that soldier myself, and in all likelihood will be again, perhaps before too long.

We don’t get any better, do we?  As we grow older, we really don’t learn a damn thing.  We just look worse while we make fools of ourselves.  I was at a social gathering recently where a person I know slightly was trying to impress the other guests.

I’m a wine connoisseur, he informed one of the women, drunkenly.

You are in your arse, she replied calmly.  You’re just a chronic alcoholic.

And so it goes.  That’s what drink and a party feeling will do to you, but what happens when you combine it all with terminal stupidity?  What happens then?

What happens when you are a complete, blithering fuckwit, and drunk as well?  What then?

Well, then, you’re fucked.

I could name nine fuckwits right now, off the top of my head without having to think at all.  Utter fools who get fourteen times worse when drunk, and it’s not that they should give up drink, because that won’t work.  They should just give up living before we all rise up as one and fucking kill them.

Some people are fine when they’re drunk, and that’s because drink doesn’t change the fundamental personality.  It pisses me off when I hear that kind of excuse.

Oh, I was drunk.

Really?  Does that mean you’re not an absolute knob-head when you’re sober?

They say it all the time in court, after some scobe has been convicted of his 95th offence.  Well, judge, perhaps I could ask the court to take into account his difficult upbringing, and the fact that he has a drink problem.

A drink problem?  That’s all right then.   Now I can see why he beat up that old woman.  He was drunk.  Imagine going into the court on a speeding charge.  Well, Judge, you see, the only reason he was driving at 150 mph is that he was drunk out of his head.

Right.  That has to work, doesn’t it?

A tosser is a tosser, drunk or sober.  I don’t swallow this crap about drink, because I know what drunk means.  Every time I’ve ever made a tool of myself due to alcohol, it was because deep inside I was getting in touch with my inner gobshite.  There’s no excuse.  No way out: it wasn’t the drink.  It was me.

In vino veritas.




12 thoughts on “Stupidity and Drink. With Dancing

  1. Bill Clinton had a similar problem during his term in the Whitehouse. Every time he got on a stage before a crowd the first thing he did was point at the drummer in the crowd. How he knew who the drummer was is unknown but being pissed most of the time probably helped.
    And in Bill’s case, being a handy sax player had nothing to do with it.

    You’re spot on about the drink BOCK.

  2. I am going to try to tell this correctly, many years ago at a regular sessiun on a Tuesday night I think in Pa McGraths a friend of mine was playing fiddle in the pub with the usual heads. Now this particular sessiun used to draw a fine crowd with lots of out of towners. One such group settled up next to the musicans and conversed in a loud enough way as to disturb the lads plucking the strings. They stayed polite as the idea with the sessiun was to draw in a crowd but couldn’t help overhearing the conversation so to try to put the loud crowd in their box my mate stopped playing and leaned over to one of the girls in the group and asked if he had heard correctly that they were archaeologists? The girl proudly said she was and asked was he interested in the subject? ” no not really I was just wondering if you would be able to take the bone out of this” holding his manhood in his hand! It quietned down tbe whole bunch!
    He swore it happened like that, it was about 25/30 years ago!

  3. Generally speaking Bock, I would have to agree with you, once a Knob head always a Knob head. But I do know this chap, (I’ll call him Charlie to protect his identity) and he seems to contradict your theory. Charlie is usually a very amiable an humorous fellow, but, when a few drinks have been consumed he transforms into an obnoxious bollocks, annoying everyone and stealing peoples drinks from the counter. When you meet him the after, he genuinely has no recollection of his behaviour. It always baffles me how someone can change so much after a few drinks. Maybe Charlie should just give up the drink!

  4. I know one fella who is nicknamed Thrush because he is an irritating cunt whether drinking or not.

  5. Drink taken or no drink taken, I’m a great dancer. I think. :)
    Some guys can be annoying when drunk. Saturday night, one lad comes right up to me and says.. ‘mmmm nice lips’. Go away.
    Then later on another guy stops by me and stands there eying me up and down, like he’s at a cattle market or something. It was all just so degrading.. for him when I walked off. ha. Dutch courage I suppose. Tis a curse really, drink.

    It is a bit peculiar how some get arrogant with drink and some get mellow. I know one woman who can get a bit argumentative after drinking, so she decided recently to switch drinks. I was telling her, ah shur there’s so many drinks you can just keep switching. You might find the right one eventually.

  6. Just thought too of people who are idiots and getting drunk on planes. Who was that Cork DJ who got a little too acquainted with himself on a flight there not too long ago.
    At least you can walk away from them at the pub.

    Gerard Depardieu wasn’t arsed going to the toilets on a flight to Dublin recently.

    Not sure if Anderson is drunk there. :)

  7. Yea a few I know are like that as well after a few (sic) pints in them. If I get a bit too pissed myself I’ll still have it enough together to actually listen when I tell myself Ok go the fuck home you’ve had enough. So I dont really get it when some I know just keep going. and going…The impression given then, before they actually crash and burn, is that their world is the real world and its You that sticks out like a sore thumb. Methinks other substances are a major contributing factor in the unfolding of their night (or day) out. End result for me is I usually then keep my distance a bit from them even when they are sober because I dont want to invite the “There’s Paul, He’ll listen to my offmyface shit talk”
    I know a few who have seemed to have gotten their act together too though.

  8. “What happens when you are a complete, blithering fuckwit, and drunk as well? What then?”

    Then you get made Taoiseach of Ireland.

    Leastways that’s how it used to work a few years ago.

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