Dead Presidents and Limerick Councillors

Limerick city councillors love their dead American presidents, but none more fervently than Pat Kennedy who feels a special bond to the famous (or notorious) Irish-American namesake clan whose gangster father bought the 1960 presidential election for young Jack, a man with a great tan, excellent teeth and a prodigious libido.

Jack would shag anything with a pulse and frequently did, often sending his Secret Service minders to summon random women from the adoring crowds, though history doesn’t record how many sweaty couplings he managed to squeeze in during the hour he visited Limerick in June 1963.  With all that waving to crowds, reciting patronising platitudes and kissing babies, he probably hadn’t much time for more than three or four liaisons.

JFK Limerick 1963

Kennedy checks his list in Limerick

But never mind all that.  Pat Kennedy is a big fan of JFK anyway.  For that matter, Pat seems to be a huge fan of American presidents in general, having named his son Thomas Jefferson.  The Founding Baby.

Pat’s latest wheeze is to rename a bridge in the city.  Via some sort of political stroke, the local councillors managed to change the long-established Shannon Bridge to the John Fitzgerald Kennedy Bridge.  On two previous occasions when he held the pointless position of Mayor, Pat managed to get his name on plaques attached to bridges.  Indeed, one of those plaques is on the bridge he wants call JFK.  So good they named it twice.

If that bridge could talk, it would say Ich bin ein Limericker!!

Kennedy visited Limerick for an hour over 50 years ago, but somehow, Pat Abraham Lincoln Kennedy seems to think that’s enough and by hook or by crook, he’s determined to push the renaming through despite widespread public derision.  A man with Camelot blood in his veins won’t be bothered by anyone calling him a vainglorious buffoon.

Pat isn’t alone in this gobshitery though.  Because of a political deal to buy his vote for a Labour mayor, Kathleen Roosevelt Leddin, he has an unlikely assortment of supporters.

They are  Joe Eisenhower Leddin, Tom Truman Shortt, Lyndon B Hurley, Kevin Dubya Kiely and John Obama Gilligan.

Ranged against them are the evil Diarmuid Bin Laden Scully, Maurice Khomeini Quinlivan, Maria Stalin Byrne, Michael Saddam Hourigan, Jim Mao Tse Tung Long and Denis Castro McCarthy.

Pat is threatening legal action if the council try to prevent his illustrious relative’s name being affixed to the bridge.  He took advice from himself, apparently, since Pat is a junior counsel, as well as a primary teacher.  A junior counsel!!   And a primary teacher!!

Was there ever a more qualified man in the whole world?

Don’t cross Pat, is the message.  I hope he doesn’t send himself a huge bill for his time and expertise.

Councillor Pat Kennedy
Councillor Pat Kennedy

Pat Washington Hoover Clinton Bush Ford Nixon Quincy Adams Kennedy is a true frontiersman.  Men like him, with their coon-skin caps on the top of their heads and their muzzle loading muskets, fought off the English, they fought off the Indians, they defied Santa Anna at the Alamo  and they made this the great country it is today.

One thing though, that Pat might have overlooked.  The Kennedys don’t have a glorious history when it comes to bridges.

Only sayin’.







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15 thoughts on “Dead Presidents and Limerick Councillors

  1. Chuckle chuckle.Thank you Bock. The cuntry is full of empty headed wanna bees, you wouldn’t believe the number of vain fools who are close relatives of Michael Collins etc.. Incidentally JFK’s tan was as a result of his Addison’s disease–no matter; I am sure that his dying wish was that he would have a bridge in Limerick named after him. Do you think he may have sired a few offspring whilst he was in dear old Oirland–the local lasses wouldn’t have had access to contraception in the Taliban time of John Charles McQuaid.
    I suppose we should be looking out for well tanned, toothy tall opinionated and possibly large tooled individuals. Maybe his protégé the impossibly talented and interesting Mr Tubridy could write another gripping review of JFK’s visit looking at the shagging angle?

  2. If it’s about the Kennedy connection, then Mary Jo Kopechne Bridge would seem more appropriate

  3. Seems like this name-changing thing is in vogue – Musgrave park to be renamed ‘Irish Independent Park’! Will be a right laugh the day munster rugby gets sponsored by Durex!

  4. Legal letters flying in City Hall. Even if they get the re-naming through, the new Council to be elected on May 23 rd next can overturn the decision by re-naming the bridge again. I hope Google Maps can keep up. By the way vote on May 23rd. Lets get the right people elected. No more numpties. A Councillor can get elected with about 600 vote without reaching a quota. Your vote really counts, use it.

  5. Naming things is a “reserved power” of the elected members. Once voted upon it becomes the name of the place and cannot be set aside. This talk of a group to consider the naming of the bridge is a fudge, the executive trying to scupper the vote, illegal and an affront to democracy and the constitution. Review of decision contrary to law in the opinion of one person anyway. Judicial review threatened to force “specific performance” in other words to go ahead with the naming of the bridge JFK.

  6. While JFK checks his Limerick list ther’s a fella in a mac’ playing pocket billiards as he checks out the wan on stage wearing the hat.

  7. Gobshitery exactly, that’s why it might take another vote to re-name the bridge “Shannon Bridge”. It might make JFK Bridge the place with the world record for having a name designated and then rescinded. Laughing stock of the country. Hall’s Pictoral Weekly stuff.

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