It took about ten minutes to work out something was wrong and another twenty to find the cause, but it was all my own fault.
The vague sense of unease. The feelings of impending doom. Patrick Bateman’s nameless dread all assaulting me without my knowledge, as I drove along, wondering what was wrong. Why this horrible unreachable itch as if cockroaches were playing badminton beneath my blood vessels? Why this awful scratching terror in my amygdala?
Oh, wait. Of course. I forgot to turn over from Today FM when the Matt Cooper Show finished.
I like Matt Cooper. He provides a useful counterbalance between the clownish buffoon George Hook and Blessed Mary Wilson of the Cross, or at least of the Mildly Annoyed. So I tend to turn over to Today FM at that time of the evening.
But of course, I also forget to turn back and so I find myself subjected to utter shite until reason kicks in and I switch it off.
Now, when that happened to me this evening, I spent a little while beating myself up for being an old bastard out of touch with popular culture until it dawned on me that radio stations have always pumped out this kind of shit. And I have always hated this kind of garbage. And every discerning music lover would join me in hating such pap.
I began to feel a little better. I began to remember that high-quality radio music shows are rare and that they have always been rare. I began to realise that it was a good thing to feel nameless dread and a scratching of the amygdala.
And so, as I pulled up outside my house, I was calm again, reminding myself that I love good music, that I will always love good music whether it happens to be old or recorded yesterday and that the shit pumped out at us by every radio station is for the most part just that.
As I locked the car and entered my home, I felt gratitude towards Today FM for reminding me that we must always be enraged by crap music on the radio.
How else could we continue to embrace the good stuff?